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I don’t like Anchorman. Nor should you.

Sometimes the world likes something – even loves something – but you don’t. Like avocados. I can’t begin to imagine why so many people find these small, shriveled balls of green goo tasty, but they do. In these instances, you can do one of two things: Remain silent, knowing that you will stand in opposition…

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Deep Impact is a stupid movie

I know it was released in 1998, but boy is Deep Impact a stupid film. It you don’t remember, Deep Impact and Armageddon both came out in 1998 – two months apart – and featured planet-killing asteroids threatening the Earth. Armageddon earned more than $200 million while Deep Impact brought in about $140 million. That’s…

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Sid from Toy Story was a completely normal person.

I know the film is 24 years old, but I’m still annoyed: Sid, Andy’s next door neighbor, was portrayed as the antagonist in Toy Story simply because he liked to take toys apart and reassemble them in new and creative ways. Yes, perhaps if you are a toy, this is not a good thing, but…

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Star Wars got better. Seriously.

I can’t believe it. Star Wars nerds have actually won me over. I love Star Wars but have always found the overly-indulgent, obsessive nerds a little too much to handle, but then I see this: A legitimately brilliant, seamless improvement to the movie that started it all. I support this. I love this. My apologies…

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Benji the Hunted

This 30 second clip from the 1987 film Benji the Hunted says everything you need to know about the difference between how my generation and the millennial generation was raised. I grew up watching stuff like this – a movie for little kids – and thinking absolutely nothing of it.

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Losers lose. I am happy.

As Captain Marvel enters its second weekend at the box office, it’s important to note that: It had a spectacular opening weekend, pulling in $153 million in North America and $455 million globally Both of those numbers far exceed projections It was the sixth-best worldwide opening ever The film appears to be on its way to earning…

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“Star Wars Always” saves the day

The last Star Wars film really depressed me. I loved the original three films. I watched the first one – my first film ever – while sitting in the aisle with dozens of other children at The Stadium in Woonsocket, RI. I also liked the prequels. I know there were serious issues with those movies,…

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Advice from The Beatles

So many times in my life, I see something clever, brilliant, or truly inspired, and I think to myself, “Why didn’t I think of that?” Just last week, the trailer dropped for Danny Boyle’s latest film, Yesterday. It’s the story of a musician who wakes up in a world where The Beatles never existed, except…

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Spielberg didn’t hire me. Big mistake.

When I was 14 years-old, I went to see Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom at The Stadium in Woonsocket, Rhode Island. After seeing Raiders of the Lost Ark three years earlier and loving it, I couldn’t wait to see the latest installment in this franchise. When I left the theater after seeing the…

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Wonder Woman and Mary Poppins Returns: Two excellent films with stupid, sexist endings

Spoiler alert: I’m about to reveal the stupid, sexist, asinine endings to Mary Poppins Returns and Wonder Woman. If you were hoping to experience the stupid, terrible endings of these films in an unspoiled fashion, stop reading now. For those of you with me… Mary Poppins Returns and Wonder Woman are both very good films…

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