Archive for July 2015
One of the most horrifying and disgusting things that has ever happened to me couldn’t spoil my day
We went to Boston yesterday for a whale watch. It was the first whale watch of my life, and it was the first for the kids as well. We were excited. Most of the day went exceptionally well. One moment was exactly the opposite of exceptionally well. We stopped at Jeff Kinney’s bookstore in Plainville, MA…
Read MoreSequel protection service: Alias
There once was a show called Alias, and it was great. Created by J.J. Abrams, it starred Jennifer Garner as Sydney Bristow, a double-agent for the Central Intelligence Agency posing as an operative for SD-6, a worldwide criminal and espionage organization. Then halfway through the second season, the series changes significantly. Some describe it as a reboot. I don’t want to spoil…
Read MoreHow to annoy a child
As an elementary school teacher for the last 17 years, I have learned many ways to annoy a child. Here are just a few: If asked, declare that you have no favorite number. If asked, declare that you have no favorite color. Refuse to divulge your own middle name. Ask a child how many fingers he…
Read MoreEven I was silenced by this horrific scene of sexism and misplaced cold drink cups
Yesterday I saw an older man standing at the counter at a McDonald’s, with an empty, medium size McDonald’s cold drink cup jammed into the breast pocket of his button-down shirt, admonishing two young women about the clothing that they were wearing, reminding them that clothing and appearance sets an important first impression. “You look…
Read More“If you’re going to have a difficult life, it might as well be childhood, since it’s so short” might be the dumbest thing ever said.
Someone recently told me that “If you’re going to have a difficult life, it might as well be childhood, since it’s so short.” I disagree. It’s the percentage of life that is difficult that matters most, and a difficult childhood skews that percentage for a long, long time. If you have a difficult childhood, that means that…
Read MoreMy daughter manages money better than most Americans. And unlike me, her savings weren’t eaten by a dog named after a video game.
For almost a year, my six year-old daughter, Clara, has been saving her allowance and birthday money for a dollhouse that she saw at Barnes & Noble one day. Clara receives $1 per week (plus additional quarters for the completion of additional chores), of which she divides amongst her long term, short term, and charity jars.…
Read MoreI hate this kid.
As a teacher, it’s not often that I say that I hate a kid. In fact, I can’t remember a time in my adult life when I really despised a young person. I don’t know this kid personally, but from everything I can see, I hate hate hate him.
Read MoreThis phone call apparently went well.
Half years are stupid.
I will never understand why adults count half-years when accounting for time. Yesterday I heard a person asked how long he was at a company. His response: “Eight and a half years.” Eight and a half? You’re not a toddler, dude. No one over the age of ten counts half years. No one even keeps…
Read MoreClara’s Mid-Summer Bucket List
A parental suggestion courtesy of my wife: Yesterday, with about half of our summer behind us, Elysha asked our six-year-old daughter to create a bucket list of summertime activities she still wanted. The list is great, and best of all, it’s entirely doable. Backyard picnics. Sleepovers. Trips to playgrounds and beaches. Not only do we…
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