Archive for July 2015
Are you faithful to your spouse? It’s less common than you might think.
Ashley Madison, the online affair facilitator with the slogan, “Life is Short. Have an Affair.” was hacked this week. Hackers are threatening to release the personal information of its 37 million members. Did you hear that (in your head, since I am not reading this aloud to you)? 37 million members. That may sound like…
Read MoreA simple solution for Scott Walker’s uncertainty
Republican Presidential candidate Scott Walker says that he doesn’t know if being gay is a choice. I have a simple solution to this problem: He could simply ask any one of the millions of gay Americans if being gay is a choice and believe what they say, since they would know. I can’t begin to…
Read MoreThe best marital advice you’ll ever receive (and some thoughts on same sex marriage, too)
She’s only six. I hope she can adhere to this advice in 20 years.
Read MoreBrace yourself for the cutest thing EVER (not one bit of hyperbole)
And if that wasn’t enough, we have the extended cut with both verses:
Read MoreDentists need to tell stories, or they will end up with people like me in their chairs.
My dentist told me that I should have two of my wisdom teeth extracted. One of them has a cavity, and it’s in a spot that is almost impossible to keep clean. I asked what the extraction process entailed. Dentist: We use some local anesthetic and some rocking back and forth, and that’s it. Done in…
Read MoreThe next time you see or hear a story about the British royalty, I suggest this response:
Look, it’s a story about Kate Middleton, the possibly American woman married to one of the British princes (I say possibly because I’m not certain of Middleton’s nationality and refuse to spend even a second confirming this suspicion). Yup, that’s her. The princess and her latest baby. Does she have two kids or three now? I’m also not quite sure.…
Read MoreFirst review of The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs arrives!
The Kirkus review has posted online, and I’m thrilled to report that it’s a great one. Kirkus Reviews is a magazine of book reviews published on the first and 15th of each month. It offers a preview of books prior to their publication, as well as a short but critical review of each book. It’s an important…
Read MoreDon Featherstone was an interesting man for at least two reasons. Also, the mysteries of 57 and matchy-matchy remain unsolved, and it’s really bothering me.
Don Featherstone passed away last month. He was known for two fairly remarkable things: 1. He was the creator of the pink plastic flamingo that adorns so many American lawns even today. He and his wife kept 57 pink flamingos on his front lawn in Fitchburg, MA. I have yet to figure out why he…
Read MoreA brilliant app idea that I’m giving away for free. Take it. Make it. I’ll be your first customer.
Here’s my vision: I’m driving down Starr Boulevard in some tiny town in Somewhereville, USA. I come to a traffic light and stop. I remove my phone, click on the app, and instantly, I am transmitted information about the name of this street. Why Starr? Why the double R? Is the street named after a person,…
Read MoreIf I ruled the world, here are 11 laws that I would immediately enact.
If I were ruler of the world, I would immediately enact the following laws to improve the quality of life for all of humankind: 1. Drivers who pull their cars alongside each other in the middle of the road and roll down their windows to chat (thus blocking the road for sane people) shall have…
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