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Unacceptable platitude #7: “Fair does not mean equal.”

“Fair does not mean equal” is a convenient phrase that is overly used in situations in which inequality exists and the ability to mitigate that inequality either doesn’t exist for structural or financial reasons or is beyond the intellectual and creative abilities of the people in charge to eliminate altogether.  In other words, yes, “fair…

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Shortcomings and Flaws: 2014

A reader once accused me of being materialistic after I wrote about my lack of a favorite number, specifically criticizing me for saying that when it comes to my salary, my favorite number is the largest number possible. You can read about that debate here if you would like. After refuting the charges of materialism,…

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Stupid yoga may be turning my son into a dweeb. Or perhaps he’s trying to get the attention of women like his father once did.

I’m not sure what’s going on here.   Maybe his yoga class is influencing the way that he sits now. Maybe television isn’t exciting enough anymore, and he’s looking for ways to change it up. Maybe this is his Dead Poets Society moment. Instead of standing on his desk to get a new perspective on…

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Office space turned dance hall, yoga studio, lunch room hell. I bet they’re all organic, gluten-free, transcendentalist vegans, too.

We’ve come a long way since Mike Judge’s Office Space highlighted the drudgery and monotony of cubicle life. Some offices may have gone a little too far. This German office may seem brilliant in terms of its use of space, but it strikes me as a little unrealistic and smug. A little cultish, even. No? 

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My five year-old daughter has discovered the BEST COMEBACK EVER

My five year-old daughter is a rhetorical genius. When I attempt to convince Clara that a two minute living room clean up is not a long time, or that the last piece of grilled cheese can be eaten in seconds, or that it’s always a good idea to try to use the bathroom before going…

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September 26, 1983: The day a Soviet colonel and forgotten hero saved the world from nuclear destruction.

On this day, let us not forgot the man who may have saved the human race from possible extinction. September 26, 1983. The Cold War is at its height. The United States and the Soviet Union have thousands of intercontinental ballistic missiles pointed at each other. The two countries exist under the doctrine of mutually…

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Poop is here.

“I poop!” and “Poop is here!” are the two ways that my son signals the need for a diaper change. I’m never a fan of a diaper change, but I have to say that his choice of words always make me smile.

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ESPN makes the same stupid mistake that they criticized NFL commissioner Roger Goodell for two months ago.

Bill Simmons is suspended by ESPN for three weeks after calling NFL commissioner Roger Goodell “a liar” after the commissioner claimed that he never saw the Ray Rice video in which the running back punches his then fiancée on a Las Vegas elevator and knocks her out. Police report that the video of the incident…

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My annual plea to the girls in my fifth grade class: Maintain your advantage over the boys. Rule the world.

On Friday, Hillary Clinton  pledged to work to get all the female Democratic candidates on the ballot elected in November. “I can’t think of a better way to make the House work again than electing every woman on the ballot,” Clinton told the Democratic Women’s Leadership Forum. “There are ten women running for the Senate,…

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My daughter received her first library card. Her father might be more excited about it than she is, and for good reason.

My daughter received her first library card last weekend. She was thrilled. I think my wife and I were even more excited than she was. She also checked out her first book with it: If You Give a Moose a Muffin.     I didn’t receive my first library card until I was ten years-old.…

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