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The doctor reports that this is currently located in my wife’s womb. It’s due to come out in late May.    We told Clara last night. She informed me that it’s a girl and that it’s beautiful. Then she kissed my wife’s belly a few times and asked if she could feed the baby with a…

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This is the kind of gift that isn’t right for everyone, and it might not go over well with the boy’s parents, but here’s a possible holiday gift idea that might be perfect under the right circumstances: Give a boy a real name to replace his wimpy, girlish, pansy name. I’m not going to call…

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My two-year old daughter can accurately identify a triceratops, and a poor facsimile at that. Perhaps that Dinosaur Train show isn’t as stupid as I had thought.

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I told a story at last night’s Moth StorySLAM in Manhattan. As always, I had an amazing time, and I actually learned a lot. Here are some of my observations and thoughts from the evening: 1.  There are two Bleecker Streets in New York. Who knew? 147 Bleecker Street in Queens is a large brick…

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Over the past three years, I have been extremely critical of people who demand apologies, more so than I ever even realized. In February of 2010, I was critical of a parent who demanded that a teacher apologize to her daughter for doing something exceptionally stupid. In July of 2010, I commented on this favorite…

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When I was a kid, my brothers and sisters and I would often spend our evenings playing a game that we called Monster. I would be given a few minutes to hide somewhere outside and around our home, and then my brothers and sisters would begin wandering about, hoping to avoid being snatched up by…

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Someone please explain to me how a quarterback can fail to complete a single pass or do anything productive for his team and still have a rating of 39.6. Shouldn’t his rating be zero. Or at least closer to it? Perhaps there is something to be said about ESPN’s new QBR rating, which at least…

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Regardless of how many times I see this (and it’s almost daily), I’ll never understand it: Two women are working out together at the gym. One is dressed in a tight-fitting, leopard-print leotard, black and pink tights, pink sneakers and a matching pink headband. The other is wearing a yellow hoodie with coordinating socks and…

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I went upstairs to see if I could get my two-year old to nap. She had been sitting in the crib for almost an hour, talking and playing but not exactly sleeping. “Clara,” I said. “Why didn’t you go to sleep?” “I tried to go to sleep, Daddy,” she said. “But I was freaking out.”…

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A few years ago, I posted a list of all the jobs I have held in my life in chronological order. Things have changed since then, so here is my updated list: 1. Farm laborer, Blackstone, MA: When I was 12-years old, I began working for Jesse Deacon, an aging farmer in need of some…

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