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What I never told you about marriage

The Forbes piece is “What Your Mother Never Told You About Life After Marriage.” The thesis of the piece (if you haven’t already guessed) is this: Marriage is not easy, and you were naïve and foolish to think otherwise. The author cites potato chips in the bed, battles over the remote control, and snoring as…

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Goodnight dance

My daughter has taken to dancing right before bed. We read our books, and just when we are ready to turn off the lights and plop her in her crib, she starts dancing. It’s cute, and she has some genuine moves, but it’s not the best way to relax before going to sleep.

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My first bit of Thanksgiving thanks

The dog woke up at 2:30 AM. She was acting crazy. Snorting, sneezing, and rolling on the ground. I thought she was sick. Then I smelled something foul. “Oh no,” I thought. “What has she done?” I quickly inspected the floor and found nothing. “Just gas,” I thought and decided to bring her outside. I…

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The maypole is kind of stupid. Right?

It’s the kind of thing that parents love because they get to watch their kid run around a pole as they genuflect on tradition and ancestry and Earthy goodness, but in the end, the kid is just hanging onto a ribbon and running around a pole. Of all the ancient traditions to survive into the…

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Coupons can’t terrorize anyone

I love The Daily Beast, but their headlines can occasionally be sensationalized to the point of absurdity.  Yesterday The Daily Beast reported on a Groupon deal gone bad. British bakery owner Rachel Brown was forced to hire temporary workers when the 75 percent discount she offered through Groupon on a dozen cupcakes was purchased by…

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Step in or step away?

I was leaving the gym at 8:20 PM on Monday night, hurrying home to catch the kickoff of the Patriots game, when I noticed a mother and her two sons standing by the wall of soundless television screens that stretch from floor to ceiling. The boys were elementary school age, probably second and fourth grade,…

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No admittance

When we arrived at the playground, my daughter told told me to stay in the car. “This is Mommy and Clara’s playground,” she said. “You stay here. You can’t come.” Mind you I’ve been to this particular playground with her many times. Eventually you agreed to cede me temporary use of the property after I…

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Is good parenting sometimes cruel parenting? Do the ends justify the means?

When I was a child, I suffered from paralyzing claustrophobia. I was unable to put my head under blankets, enter closets, crawl under furniture or hide in the dryer (which my sister often did). Tight quarters of any kind terrified me. I’m not sure if I was born with this fear or suffered a traumatic…

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Best

I had a thought. My daughter and I were standing at the top of the slide. The sun was setting. It was unseasonably warm. Geese were flying overhead. Clara reached over, grabbed my cheeks, and pulled me in for a kiss. Then she counted to three and pushed me down the slide. A second later…

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MEMOIRS OF AN IMAGINARY FRIEND: Foreign news

Two exciting pieces of foreign news related to my upcoming MEMOIRS OF AN IMAGINARY FRIEND: 1.  The UK audio rights to the book have been purchased by WF Howes, an audio and large print publisher based in Leicestershire, England.  Since the story is told in the first person, this means that Budo (my protagonist) will…

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