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Third person nightmare

I’ve started to refer to myself as Daddy in the third person.  Even when my daughter is not around.  Me:  Daddy’s going to bring to garbage out. Mother-in-law:  Isn’t Clara upstairs already? Me:  Um…yes.  Mother-in-law:  Then who are you talking to? Me:  Kill me now.  Please. I’ve actually given my wife permission to administer electro-shock…

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My book has been hijacked by a couple of no-nothings.

I have been betrayed by my book.  As I come closer and closer to completing the manuscript to CHIKCEN SHACK, the story continues to veer off in unintended directions.  When I began writing  a year ago, I thought I’d be telling the story of two rival brothers and how their familial relationship did not preclude…

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Vegans. The annoying kind.

I don’t mind vegetarians, vegans, and the rest of their ilk. In fact, I admire them and am envious of their ability to eat and enjoy vegetables and fruits to the exclusion of other foods.  Some of my closest friends are vegetarians.  But when militant vegans attempt to disturb my own meal with their nutrition-turned-religion,…

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Enough with the ten minutes

I spent the afternoon writing at Panera, which is always a delightful spot to work. Good food, caffeine-free soda, free Wi-Fi, and comfortable surroundings. I have just one complaint. I typically order one of two sandwiches.  The first is made with an ale mustard.  The second is made with chipotle mayonnaise. I’m allergic of mustard…

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The demanded apology: A pathetic, passive aggressive attempt to make someone say words that the don’t want to say

From yesterday’s Washington Post: “The mother of a 13-year-old Montgomery County middle school student is demanding an apology from a teacher who had school police escort the youngster from a classroom for refusing to say the Pledge of Allegiance.” You can read the full article here. First, I’m completely in favor of a student’s right…

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Poisoned before my second birthday

When I was about sixteen months old, my stomach was pumped after having swallowed an entire bottle of paregoric. Oddly enough, I never looked into what paregoric was until just recently. It was just one of those family stories that was retold from time to time, without much thought. After some research, I learned that…

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Fine is not good enough

My wife and I are attempting to keep our daughter away from television until the age of two, as recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics and based upon a great body of research that seems to indicate that television before this age can negatively impact cognitive development. And I don’t think we’re overly cautious…

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A mixed bag

I received an email from a reader of this blog today that was interesting.  She wrote: I find you both acerbic and dorky.  One minute you remind me of fuzzy little bunny and another minute you’re more like an angry rattlesnake.  It’s strange.  I don’t know if I that or not.  But I loved your…

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Either way, I rule.

Whenever I am asked how I find the time to teach, write novels and run a small business, I reply that I don’t sleep as much as most people, therefore I have more hours in the day to be productive. I also contend that I am an efficient sleeper, using my ability to fall asleep…

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