Archive for February 2010
Why my wife will never allow me a Freebie List
There is an amusing tradition amongst spouses that each can create a Freebie List of people who they are allowed to date in the event that the opportunity ever presents itself. Actors and actresses, sports stars, models and musicians often top these fantasy lists. Last night I was meeting with a couple in my capacity…
Read MoreTough to be a woman. Impossible to live without women.
I just overheard a phone call that expresses the essence of man and woman. Wife’s friend wants to have lunch with her and her husband. From what I can glean, this is one of those annoying, pestering, occasional friends who offer little in terms of conversational value. Wife doesn’t want to go to lunch but…
Read MoreStop wasting oxygen
I don’t understand these people who enjoy people-watching. Are these lunatics trying to tell me that they like to spend their time watching unattractive and ordinary people walk through airports, eat cheeseburgers, read newspapers, and shop for deodorant? Really? How does anyone’s life reach such pathetic depths as to have nothing better to do? Read…
Read MoreGAME CHANGE’s alliteration not quite music to my ears
I’m listening to Mark Halperin and John Heilemann’s GAME CHANGE, the insider account of the 2008 election, and I’m enjoying it quite a bit. But the amount of alliteration that the authors apply to their audacious account is atrocious. See what I mean? In the span of three minutes, I heard the following alliterative phrases…
Read MoreJust because we’re accustomed to seeing it doesn’t make it any less ridiculous
At first I thought that The Persuader, a handbag for the “girl on the move,” was a little silly, even if the clip doubles as a cell phone holder. Then it occurred to me that this design is no more ridiculous, or at least no more materialistic and stupid, than a handbag covered in the…
Read MoreHeroic me
Last month, a groom told me on his wedding day that he considers me his hero and role model, based upon information about my life that he recently learned, and that he hopes to model his life after mine. How does one respond to a statement like this? Half a dozen choices that ran through…
Read MoreIn praise of community college
In the past fifteen years, I have attended four institutions of higher learning. These have included a community college, a traditional, four-year university, an all-women’s college, and an online university, and running counter to the Sarah Palin stratagem, I earned four different degrees in the process (an Associates, a Bachelors, a Masters and a teaching…
Read MoreThree little old ladies talking about me
I was eating an Egg McMuffin in McDonald’s this morning. My headphones were still on, but I had paused the recording in order to read the paper. As I ate, a woman stopped by my table. She’s an elderly lady who had once worked as a substitute teacher in my school. She’s retired now, and…
Read MoreBEST GIFT EVER
I just gave my wife the super-romantic, best Valentine’s gift of all time: $250 in cash and a belly dancing kit, including a book, CD, and two sets of brass bells (zills for you belly-dancing aficionados). “Everything you need to explore the movement and harmony of the ancient arts!” so the box claims. She seemed…
Read MoreBrilliant band names
Bon Jovi and Van Halen are ingenious band names. Both names are derived from the last names of the founding members of the bands (Jon Bon Jovi and Eddie and Alex Van Halen), but both names have also become separate and distinct identities in their own right. That is, when someone mentions Bon Jovi, you…
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