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Resolution update: 2015 in review

In an effort to hold myself accountable, I post the progress of my yearly goals at the end of each month on this blog. The following are the results through the end of 2015. In 2015, I completed 19 of 32 goals for a success rate of 59%. While this is not great, it compares…

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A goal for 2016: An agreement that these parents are awful, disgusting, rotten people

Can we all agree that parents who actively oppose their child’s interracial, inter-religious, or same sex marriage are awful people?  They are still mothers and father, perhaps still worthy of love and respect, and possibly possessing many admirable and endearing qualities, but they are also awful, disgusting, rotten people. We can all agree to this.…

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The big sleep is killing me.

When we put our son, Charlie, to bed each night, he complains about having to go to sleep. He refers to it as a “big sleep.” “Mommy, it’s going to be a big sleep.” “Daddy, I don’t like a big sleep.” We explain to him that a big sleep is important to being healthy and…

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My daughter was annoyed with Mrs. Claus – and let her have it.

I took my daughter on the Essex Steam Train’s North Pole Express last night. For those of you unfamiliar, The Essex Steam Train is a 100 year-old functioning steam train and museum run out of Essex, Connecticut. During the year, you can take a ride the train, celebrate your birthday or your wedding on the…

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The Moth: Death by Bee Sting

The following is a story that I told at a Moth GrandSLAM at the Somerville Theatre in Somerville, MA in March of 2015.  The theme of the night was Once in a Blue Moon. I told a story about a bee sting that changed my life.  I finished in second place.

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My 2015 Christmas haul

Every Christmas, I take inventory of the holiday gifts that my wife gives me. Some people wish for cashmere sweaters, brand new video game systems, stylish watches, and jewelry. My hope is often for the least pretentious, most unexpected, quirkiest little gift possible, and she never fails to deliver.  For the past six years, I’ve…

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Awful Jeb Bush asks supporters for $25 in exchange for leaving them the hell alone. Seriously.

Ashley Feinberg at Gawker received received an unusual email from the Bush campaign last week. In exchange for $25, Bush promised to stop sending email to supporters on his mailing list for two weeks. In the email, Bush refers to this extortion attempt as a “deal,” an “early Christmas present,” and a way to “opt-out.” …

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How to be uninteresting with fruits and vegetables

Did you know that watermelon is considered a fruit but also a vegetable since it belongs to the gourd family? Did you also know that people who insist on proliferating this type of fruit/vegetable classification information are probably some of the most boring people on the planet? This is the best thing you have to…

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Jigsaw puzzles are a terrible, rotten, no good, very bad gift.

In this holiday season, please remember this one important fact when choosing a gift for a friend or loved one: Giving your loved one the gift of a jigsaw puzzle is like giving that person a purposeless, meaningless chore best suited for someone who idolizes Sisyphus. Jigsaw puzzles are ridiculous. Take an oftentimes lovely picture,…

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I have a story on The Moth Radio Hour and podcast this week!

I’m thrilled to have a story featured on The Moth Radio Hour and Moth podcast this week.  It’s a holiday story about my car accident two days before Christmas when I was seventeen years old and the unexpected gift I received as a result.

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