Archive for January 2016
My children take selfies now, and I’m glad.
I texted my wife and asked her to take a few photos of the kids and send them to me. She taught them to take selfies instead. It was a good decision.
Read MoreRichard Marx is trapped in my head, and I didn’t even know it.
My wife decided that the theme of our next Speak Up show at Infinity Music Hall in Hartford would be “Should’ve Known Better.” We decided this in the car on the way to New York. As she spoke the words aloud, I said, “Isn’t there a song called Should’ve Known Better? And there is. It’s…
Read MoreThe Name Game
My daughter, Clara, turned seven on Monday. Tomorrow we host a birthday party for friends and family. I was telling Clara stories about the day she was born, and this story came to mind, which I wrote about at the time (to Clara) and thought I would share here. It’s a testament to my wife’s ability…
Read MoreThree Things I Eat Oddly
Peanut butter and tunafish sandwich I despise mayonnaise. It’s a terrible, evil substance. But as a boy, my mother still fed me tunafish sandwiches, despite my hatred for the mayonnaise typically used on such a sandwich. Without mayonnaise, the tunafish was dry and constantly fell from between the two slices of Wonder bread, making me…
Read MoreBoy vs. Girl: Episode 12 – The Rachel-less Episode
Episode 12 of Boy vs. Girl features unintentional and accidental recordings of conversations between myself and my ch-host, Rachel Leventhal Weiner, about such issues as when you should get married, the proper level of aggression in a poker player, and whether or not women would ever want a stay-at-home husband. Rachel experienced a death in…
Read MoreA Giants fan enacts a random and nonsensical act of football hatred upon a Patriots fan
I found this in my classroom on Monday morning following the Patriots loss to the Denver Broncos in the AFC Championship game. The balloons, the orange soda, and the poorly sprayed silly string on my chair are the work of a New York Giants fan who cares absolutely nothing for the Broncos. This person also…
Read MoreHeart beeps
My three year-old son discovered his mother’s heartbeat today. He calls them “heart beeps.” Don’t you dare correct him.
Read MoreClara Susan: January 26, 2009
I wrote this seven years ago today, upon the birth of my daughter. Today she celebrates her seventh birthday. Such a big girl._______________________________________ Our day began yesterday, at 11:53 PM, when you mother awoke me from twenty minutes of glorious sleep to inform me that her water had broken. In fact, it was still breaking…
Read MoreProfessional Best Man (and the amazing things that have happened since I first proposed this job)
Five years ago I proposed a new job idea: Professional best man. It remains a role that I am waiting to fill. Let me explain. Although I meet many outstanding best men in my role as a DJ, I also meet many who are too nervous to deliver the toast, too drunk to assist a…
Read MoreWhitesboro: You will not believe that this situation exists.
Yes, there is a town in New York called Whitesboro. And yes, the seal of the town features a crude cartoon drawing of a white man throttling a Native American. And yes, the town – at least for a time – resisted changing their seal. You can’t make this up.
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