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Resolution update: May 2011

1.  Lose 23 pounds, bringing me down to my high school track and field weight. Down eleven pounds since the beginning of the year.  Twelve to go. 2.  Do at least 50 100 200 push-ups and 50 sit-ups a day. I have increased my push-up total to 200 a day, and in May, I missed…

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Disappointed that billions haven’t died?

More fallout from the failed Rapture: Expert Rapture predictor Harold Camping’s public relations manager moved his family from California to Ohio a month before the supposed Rapture in order to wait for the end of days.  Last week he announced that he is headed back to California next week: "You can imagine we’re pretty disappointed,…

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Super Grover playing Saint Peter?

I found these little people on the window sill yesterday, set up in a position that I assume can only be a reenactment of the Saint Peter story. Naturally, my daughter has Super Grover playing the role of the big man at the Pearly Gates.   Personally, I don’t think the purple dragon has a shot…

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Serious daddy fail

I couldn’t quite remember my daughter’s birthday today.  I thought I knew it, and I knew I was within ten days or so of the correct date, but I couldn’t be certain until I checked my calendar. The person who asked was horrified. In fairness, I have always had a hard time remembering dates. On…

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Dishonoring the dead with stupidity

From Fox News: Is Obama Chewing Gum at Joplin Memorial Service? Earlier today President Obama spoke at a memorial service in Joplin, MO honoring those who lost their lives to the destructive tornado that stuck the region last week. Seen at the last seconds of this video clip it appears as though President Obama was…

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Your sense of smell or your cell phone?

From a recent McCann survey of more than 7,000 people ages 16-30 across a variety of countries: Given a list of things (including cosmetics, their car, their passport, their phone and their sense of smell) and told they could only save two, 53% of those aged 16-22 and 48% of those aged 23-30 would give…

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Angry, hilarious outbursts

When my daughter gets angry, she begins moving and narrating her motion as it is taking place. For example: Mommy:  Clara, It’s time for bed! Clara:  No!  I running!  I running! Or… Daddy:  Clara, it’s time to take a bath! Clara:  No, I don’t want to take a bath! I moving! I moving! And our…

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Chasing fire engines

When I was in my early twenties, I worked two full time jobs while awaiting trial for a crime I did not commit. I would arrive at South Shore Bank at 7:30 AM to work my shift as a customer service representative, leave at 5:00 PM, arrive at McDonald’s at 6:00 PM and work until 1:00…

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Is downhill downhill or downhill?

Scenario #1: Something has gone wrong early in the day. It is not good. The rest of the day promises to only get worse. I say, “Damn. Everything is going to be downhill from here.” ___________________________________ Scenario #2: A difficult day suddenly becomes much better when a colleague solves an especially challenging problem for me.…

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How to be pretty

Today’s message to my daughter:_____________________________________ An important thing to remember, little one: Attractiveness is more closely related to IQ than actual physical appearance. Nothing is uglier than a stupid person.

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