Archive for May 2011
Death to the elephants
I was teaching my students about idea generation in regards to writing, using a student-friendly version of TIME magazine called TIME for Kids as my source. I explained that one of the best ways to generate a writing topic is to find a piece that you find objectionable and write the counter-argument. And if you…
Read MoreUnprofitable near-death experiences
The New York Times reported that on Easter Sunday 2011, the number one book on Amazon.com’s Religion and Spirituality best-seller list was Heaven Is for Real: A Little Boy’s Astounding Story of His Trip to Heaven and Back, an account of a four-year-old’s near-death experience as dictated to his pastor father. It turns out that…
Read MoreSpared his life
We may not always like our pets, but we love them, and my daughter is probably their greatest supporter. I think my wife would’ve murdered both of them by now had it not been for Clara’s love for them. Owen, our cat, especially, though now that Clara is getting older, Kaleigh is starting to make…
Read MoreIs this version any less likely?
My niece, Lexi, told my sister about the story of Noah’s Ark today: “It’s the big ship with all the animals that Uncle Sam flew and it came down and crushed the Earth.” Not quite the version that appears in the Bible, but is it really any less likely than every species of animal voluntarily…
Read MoreI couldn’t have said it any better, and that makes me so angry
Damn that Charles Schwab. In commenting on how to increase employee productivity, he once said: “The way to get things done is to stimulate competition. I do not mean in a sordid, money-getting way, but in the desire to excel.” These two sentences sum up the essence of my teaching philosophy. That’s exactly what I…
Read MoreBringing the May 21 rapture to life!
An brilliant idea from the mind of author Wendy Clinch: “Rapture prank: On Saturday, take some of your unwanted clothes and shoes and leave sets of them arranged on sidewalks and lawns around town.” Pretty ingenious. Huh? And considering that my wife informed me that I have no nice clothes and that the best shirt…
Read MoreOur new favorite photograph
All she wants to do is splash in puddles.
Read MoreUnacceptable platitude #2: “Nobody’s perfect.”
“Nobody’s perfect.” Your perfection was never in question. In fact, it wasn’t even in the universe of possibility, so to imply that I might not have been aware of your imperfection only serves to highlight how far from perfect you are. Furthermore, how do you know that nobody’s perfect? Do you know everybody? Philosophers can’t…
Read MoreMy new hero and heroine
I have a brand new hero and heroine in my life, and neither one is old enough to vote. Amy Myers is a high school sophomore who has challenged Minnesota representative and Tea Party loyalist Michelle Bachman to a debate and public test on the Constitution, U.S. history, and civics. Myers says Bachmann’s frequent errors,…
Read MoreUnacceptable platitude #1: “At least I admit my flaws.”
“At least I admit my flaws.” How is this supposed to help me? I already know that you’re an idiot. Acknowledging your stupidity has no value to me. At least I admit my flaws? At least? This platitude is in no way an acknowledged means defending one’s position, nor is the passive-aggressive implication that I fail…
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