Archive for February 2015
Resolution update: February
Each month I post the progress of my New Year’s resolutions here as a means of holding myself accountable. The following are the results through the month of February. PERSONAL HEALTH 1. Don’t die. So far, so good. 2. Lose 20 pounds. I lost the two pounds that I gained in January plus one more…
Read MoreCat Heaven snuck up on me and made me cry.
If you’re a cat lover or a book lover or a person who suffers from an ongoing existential crisis or simply a human being, Cat Heaven by Cynthia Rylant is a book that you will love as you possibly weep. My daughter, Clara, is named after a character in The Van Gogh Café – also…
Read MoreI’ve found the next, great cereal spokesperson
Does anyone know a head honcho or an advertising executive at Cheerios?
Read MoreOne of these words is not like the others
My daughter asked to learn some new words tonight, so my wife went with callipygous, plethora, and personification. Guess which one I thought was slightly questionable (but ultimately fine).
Read MoreFriendship Application 3.0
Behold the newly-revised Friendship Application 3.0. Friendship Application 1.0 is more than five years old, and Friendship Application 2.0 is three years old, so it was time for an update. There have been instances in previous years when it seemed as if someone in my life was on the verge of becoming a genuine friend.…
Read MoreI won’t be reading my novel to my children. For a damn good reason.
My son asked me to read my novel, Unexpectedly, Milo, to him. “Too long,” I told him. “No pictures. Let’s find something else.” It also has an awkward and explicit sex scene in it (which I didn’t bother to mention), so I think he’ll be reading that one on his own some day.
Read MoreI have illogical affection for this.
5 questions about the third line of James Taylor “Fire and Rain,” which will likely plague me until the end of days.
The first lines from James Taylor’s song Fire and Rain confuse me. Just yesterday morning, they let me know you were gone.Suzanne, the plans they made put an end to you.I walked out this morning and I wrote down this song,I just can’t remember who to send it to. Put aside the first two lines,…
Read MoreFour things to consider before dating a coworker: An office romance with my future wife.
Jackie Zimmerman of Time’s Money section writes about four things to consider before dating a coworker. The last coworker who I dated was my wife. When we started dating back in March of 2004, she was teaching in a classroom one door down from mine. A friend and colleague now teaches in Elysha’s old classroom,…
Read MoreEmergency and Evacuation Plan maps should not be designed to produce panic
Just a thought, but perhaps your Emergency and Evacuation Plan map shouldn’t indicate your present position in an amorphous speech bubble that seems to engender a sense of flame, heat, and panic, and shouts the three words with the use of an exclamation point. The message should be: “You are here.” This one reads: “AH!…
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