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PERSONAL HEALTH 1. Don’t die. Feeling younger every day. Sincerely.   2. Lose 20 pounds. Down 12 pounds as of this morning. I might actually accomplish this after all.    3. Do at least 100 push-ups and 100 sit-ups five days a week. Done.  4. Stop drinking soda from two-liter bottles. I didn’t drink soda from a…

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Texts from my wife abut my three year-old son, Charlie: Driving thru Starbucks. Clara wants a water. I ask Charlie if he wants one, too. He says, “How about no? How about a Dunkin Donut?”  Charlie woke up early because he pooped. When I went in his room he said, “I pooped. Will you change…

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Slate’s Mike Pesca says a lot of smart things, but this might be the best thing he has ever said. You must listen.

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When you have to affix a sheet of computer paper below your artsy sign in order to translate a three letter word that could only be one of two words, you have failed. The parenthesis are weird, too.

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I appeared on Slate’s parenting podcast Mom and Dad Are Fighting this week, discussing what parents can do in the first week of school to help ensure the success of their children.  You can listen here:

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It occurred to me during a visit with my sister that my brother, my sister, and I have all been hit by cars in our lifetimes. “That seems a little weird,” I said to my wife. “Right?” “YES,” she replied, emphatically. ____________________________My younger brother, Jeremy, was hit by a car while riding his bike when he…

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My daughter can read. She’s six years-old and started first grade yesterday, and that girl can legitimately read books. Hard books. Real books. She can read books that I can’t believe she can read. My girl is a reader. And she loves to read.  And her brother is only three years-old and can’t read yet,…

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So much about my trip to Brazil this summer was outstanding. The people who I met and the places I visited will remain with me forever.  Here was the hardest part: These are all photos that Elysha sent to me while I was gone. Constant reminders of the people I love most, half a world…

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I took my three year-old son into a porta-potty. He had to go, and we were desperate. “Don’t touch anything,” I warned him as I lifted him onto the seat. He smiled. “Can I touch my penis?”   If I didn’t know better, I would swear he was being a wise ass. 

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A reader once accused me of being materialistic after I wrote about my lack of a favorite number, specifically criticizing me for saying that when it comes to my salary, my favorite number is the largest number possible. After refuting the charges of materialism, I acknowledged that I had plenty of other shortcomings and offered…

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