Archive for November 2012
Progress with a painful price
My little boy is beginning to sit up on his own. That’s the good news, unless of course you ask my wife. If she had her way, Charlie would remain an infant forever. The bad news is that Charlie has also begun rolling over on his own, meaning that we can no longer…
Read MoreI’m going to be quite grumpy in my old age
Bad news for me (and Elysha), at least if Harvard’s famous longitudinal study on happiness is correct: “We found that contentment in the late seventies was not even suggestively associated with parental social class or even the man’s own income. What it was significantly associated with was warmth of his childhood environment, and it was…
Read MoreTell me everything? I’d rather you stick a fork in my eye.
Is this a difference between men and women or just a difference between me and my wife? Elysha gets on the phone with a pregnant friend who is living out of state and says, “Okay, tell me everything.” I consider these to be three of the most frightening words in the English language. Conversely, my…
Read MoreI may have played the last round of golf in my life, except I didn’t because I have no intention of ever dying. Again.
I live in constant dichotomy. On the one hand, I reject the notion of death with every fiber of my being. Call it denial. Call it lunacy. Call it stupidity. I have no intention of ever dying, and I am quite serious about this goal. On the other hand, I also attempt to live every…
Read MoreUnfair assumption #8: The grown men in the audience of the Glee: The 3D Concert Movie are not friendship material for me.
The grown men in the audience of the Glee: The 3D Concert Movie, who were overjoyed and in some cases genuinely euphoric over performance taking place on stage, are not likely friendship material for me. First, let me make it clear that I did not watch the Glee movie. I was flipping through the HBO…
Read MoreThe power and ubiquity of the Twitter
My wife and I are listening to Jeffrey Toobin’s THE OATH: THE OBAMA WHITE HOUSE AND THE SUPREME COURT. In learning about Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s views on gender equality, I found myself wanting to ask her about her position on the military draft. A moment later, I was annoyed, realizing that it…
Read MoreConsistency, people.
It’s a pet-peeve perhaps, but the seemingly random capitalization of words makes me crazy. Think about it: In order to produce this sign, someone had to purposefully hold the shift key down while typing three of the words in the sentence but (for reasons I will never understand) release the shift key for the fourth.…
Read MoreYou’re Whole
This Michael Ian Black infomercial parody is exceptionally funny and well worth watching, but my favorite thing about it is that it airs in the middle of the night, when the infomercials that he is parodying are also airing. Clever.
Read MoreI like you
If a girl admits that she likes you, know that it took her every ounce of courage she has. Don’t take her for granted. I saw this on Twitter today and it reminded me of how stupid I was when my wife first told me that she liked me. We were sitting in my car…
Read MoreUnfair assumption #7: People who fight over merchandise in Walmart on Black Friday are clearly the scum of the Earth.
People who fight over merchandise in Walmart on Black Friday are clearly the scum of the Earth. But after watching these videos, I have to ask: Is this assumption really unfair?
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