Archive for April 2016
Why I think professional wrestling is stupid
My friends who watch professional wrestling have long argued that watching a fake sporting event is no different than watching a fictional television show like Breaking Bad or Mad Men. And it’s true. As long as they are willing to acknowledge that all professional wrestling is staged for the sake of the storylines being written…
Read MoreThe two best super powers of all time (one of them is not teleportation)
My wife, Deadspin, and many others argue that teleportation is the greatest of all the super powers. Teleportation would be an amazing super power to possess. I would love to be able to teleport from location to location instantly. I think it may be the third best super power. But objectively, the best super powers, in this…
Read MoreClara on Picasso
Clara, my seven year-old daughter, on Picasso: ““Charlie, why don’t you draw something like Pablo Picasso? He was an artist who lived a long time ago. Even before Mommy and Daddy were born! He drew pictures of people, but he sometimes made their heads triangle shapes or put two eyes on top on each other…
Read MoreThe Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs: The paperback cover
The paperback edition of The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs doesn’t come out until March of 2017, but the new cover is ready. Let me know what you think!
Read MoreMy son, the storyteller. I had no idea.
My three year-old son made up a story about traveling to New York to visit his cousins Ari and Zoe. If you listen closely, it actually many of the all of the elements of an excellent story. The story is concise. The story is simple,. It contains mystery and genuine surprise (critical for creating an…
Read MorePossibly the perfect outgoing voicemail message
Matthew Inman of The Oatmeal tweeted this last week: ““Hey, this is Matt’s voicemail. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you years from now when you learn to stop leaving voicemails”” — Matthew Inman I’m so very tempted to use it as my outgoing message. I won’t even have to change the name.
Read More#Biblebuffet
Protip: If you’re using The Bible to justify your opposition to gay marriage, don’t forget to treat all adulterers EXACTLY the same way. God makes it abundantly clear that both are equally bad. And if you’re really being literal about your Biblical reading, please remember that you must execute anyone who has cheated on his…
Read Moreinternet at last
On November 23, 2009, I wrote a post arguing that it’s stupid that the word “Internet” needs to be capitalized. Seven years later, The Associated Press—purveyor of the AP Stylebook, used by journalists for the last century to standardize mass communications—has made a pronouncement: No longer will the AP insist on capitalizing both “internet” and “web.” It’s…
Read More#Biblebuffet
Protip: If you’re using The Bible to justify your opposition to gay marriage, please don’t forget to stone your local Starbucks barista to death on the Sabbath, too! Numbers 15: 32-36
Read MoreSchool mascots are an interesting bunch
The Washington Football Team has chosen a new name: The Commanders When I saw the name, leaked a day before the announcement thanks to a banner hung prematurely in the stadium, I thought it was fine. A good choice. It makes sense and will only offend fans who preferred the original, racially offensive name. Frankly,…
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