Archive for April 2016
A fashion designer who doesn’t know she’s a fashion designer
On the same day that my wife told me that she wanted to be a fashion designer when she was a little girl but doesn’t have that same passion or desire anymore, she made this for our son. The vision can change. The outcome can be different than what we originally imagined (sometimes by choice…
Read More“Close to the chest” or “close to the vest?” The answer annoys the hell out of me.
I’ve heard this idiom spoken both ways: “Play your cards close to the vest.” “Play your cards close to the chest.” So I wondered: Which of these is correct? The answer: Both. There is no definitive answer to this question. While it appears that “close to the vest” appeared first, “close to the chest” followed…
Read MoreSeasons: Spring 2106
My column in the spring 2016 edition of Seasons is now available online. I write “Last Word,” the humor column on the back page of the magazine. This month I write about the oddity and pain of dance recitals. You can read it online here.
Read MoreI’ve never done this medically inadvisable thing that you probably do often
Two years ago I posted a list of 9 things that I have never done that most people in the world have tried at least once. Today I add a tenth item to the list: I’ve never inserted a Q-tip or cotton swab of any kind into my ear. Every doctor in the world will…
Read MoreBoy in blanket fort offers lesson on happiness
It’s just a sheet spread over his crib, but it makes him so happy. There’s so much joy and wonder in this simple thing. It’s an important reminder to me about how little is required to make you happy if you’re willing to open your eyes and see something as new and different. Happiness isn’t…
Read MoreAn important (and painful) lesson about the people closest to me and the things I write
One of my wife’s friends told me yesterday that she reads this blog daily and feels like she has an oddly intimate relationship with me as a result. Then she said that there have been times when she has told my wife that she loved something I wrote on my blog, only to discover that…
Read MoreAn important corollary on the two greatest super powers of all time
Last week I wrote that the two greatest super powers of all time are immortality and time travel, with teleportation coming in a possible, albeit distant third. I’d like to offer a corollary on this: 1. If you’re not interested in living forever, then I am willing to acknowledge that immortality might not be the…
Read MoreWhen I watch children’s television, I ask questions about fictional funding (or the lack thereof)
My kids are currently watching large amounts of the television show The Octonauts. They also own many Octonauts toys. I tend to avoid watching these shows with my kids, and when I do, I rarely pay much attention. I listen to podcast, work on stories in my head, and make excuses to leave. Despite my…
Read MoreA not-so-disappointing disappointing night at The Moth
It’s always disappointing to drive almost three hours to a Moth StorySLAM and have your name remain in the hat for the duration of the night. I went to The Moth StorySLAM at Housing Works in New York on Tuesday, and sadly, this happened, I had a good story, too. Thankfully, it doesn’t happen too…
Read MoreMy wife doesn’t jump into the shower with me on a regular basis, but this thing about her parents is a close second.
I’d like for my wife to love the way I look. I would love for her to think of me as the best looking guy in every room every time. I’d love for her to think that I am smart. Funny. Clever. Strong. Capable. Resourceful. It would be great if she thought of me as…
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