Archive for 2016
Cousin Oliver sucked.
Here’s my biggest complaint about The Brady Bunch: The show ran for five seasons. The writers had six kids, two parents, a housekeeper, a dog and a butcher to work with, not to mention a host of special guest stars ranging from Joe Namath to Desi Arnaz, Jr. to Vincent Price. And yet they still…
Read MoreThis is a thing.
Nordstrom is selling ordinary stones wrapped in ordinary leather this holiday season. I’m not kidding. They describe it as “A paperweight? A conversation piece? A work of art? It’s up to you…” I would be more inclined to call it a moron detector.A lunatic locator.A “get a life” warning. The stone, which is “sure to…
Read MoreMeditation and McDonald’s
I’ve spent this weekend at the world famous Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health. With its silent breakfasts, farm to table meals, candle-lit shrines, and slow walking, contemplative guests, the place doesn’t exactly match my aesthetic. I’m sort of like a bull in a China shop here.A man without a country.A misplaced, misbegotten vagabond. I…
Read MoreOne of the best comebacks I’ve heard in a while
I love the perfect comeback. In fact, I wrote a whole novel about the desire of a woman to deliver a perfect one. I’m also famous amongst my friends and colleagues for having the perfect comeback at my fingertips at all times. It’s not uncommon for someone to ask for a comeback for a situation…
Read MoreTrump’s two possible views of sexual assault
A Trump supporter argued with me today that Trump’s claims of sexual assaulting women were “locker room talk,” and more importantly, there is a big difference between saying something and actually doing it. I pointed out that only one of two conclusions are possible when it comes to Trump’s comments about sexual assault: We have…
Read MoreDan Kennedy on life and the nature of success
Dan Kennedy is the author of American Spirit (a novel I adored), as well as a memoirs Rock On (which Elysha and I listened to and loved) and Loser Goes First (which is sitting on my desk, waiting to be read). He is the host of The Moth’s podcast and frequent host and storyteller for…
Read MoreI drink Diet Coke. Now do me a favor and shut up about it.
I drink Diet Coke. I drink a lot less than ever before, but I still drink it. People are exceedingly fond of telling me how unhealthy this beverage is. You cannot imagine how often I am told that this beverage is bad for me. Diet Coke drinkers can attest to this. I have some…
Read MoreI fought off a pit bull in order to save my dog’s life. This guy did one better.
Years ago, while walking my dog in a local park, a large, apparently angry pit bull managed to pull itself free from its chain and came after my dog, a small Lhasa Apso named Kaleigh. Seeing the pit bull sprinting across the field at her, I picked my dog up, held her shoulder high, and…
Read MoreDaily affirmations don’t work (for me, at least)
I have always thought that the notion of daily affirmations – the repetition of uplifting, positive, goal oriented statements designed to boost self confidence and self esteem and improve a person’s drive, focus, and overall outlook in life – was silly. I thought they were probably a waste of time and made little or no…
Read MoreWhich is funnier? Saturday Night Live? Trump’s response to SNL? Alec Baldwin’s response to Trump?
Follow this timeline, especially if you don’t use Twitter and haven’t seen any of the Donald Trump-Saturday Night Live sparring matches. I’m honestly not sure which is funnier: Saturday Night Live’s weekly skit on our President-elect: Donald Trump’s inevitable, almost immediate, thin-skinned, sad trombone response to the skit via Twitter: Alec Baldwin’s eventual and always…
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