Verbal Sparring
Verbal Sparring: If you don’t like it, leave.
“If you don’t like it, leave,” in all its variations, is a coward’s argument. It’s an argument made by people who are afraid of debate, don’t understand logic, and want to escape the fray as quickly as possible. “If you don’t like, leave,” implies that arguing for change is not permissible. “If you don’t like,…
Read More3 verbal tics that you must stop
These may not seem like big deals, but they are. The world is oftentimes far too uninteresting a place, thanks to the inability to communicate with verve and aplomb. The wasted words. The lack of vigor. Verbal tics that cause conversations to be grating upon the soul. Stop these three things now. 1. Thesis followed…
Read MoreA simple, secret strategy to handling rude people and achieving victory
Weeks ago, I was sitting in a meeting. There were several people sitting at the table with me. As someone near the front of the room began speaking, more than half of the people at my table began speaking as well. They were loud enough to be distracting to me and everyone around them. It…
Read MoreVerbal sparring: “A bad day” is not an excuse to behave badly.
You don’t get to treat people poorly because you’re having “a bad day.” A bad day may cause you to be more emotional or temperamental than normal, but it doesn’t mean that you’re allowed to be rude, disrespectful, deceitful, unprofessional, mean, or abusive. That is not a thing. In fact, one of the best ways to…
Read MoreVerbal Sparring: Flip and Own
This is a simple comeback that works in certain situations. Last week, I was listing all of my petty grievances to a friend and how I planned on conquering each one. His response: “It must be exhausting being you.” My comeback: “No, it’s exhausting not being me.” He laughed. I followed up by ensuring him…
Read MoreVerbal sparring 101: Comparing apples and oranges makes a whole lot of sense. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
The next time someone attempts to counter your argument by claiming that you are making an “apples to oranges” comparison, say this: Really? Apples and oranges are both similarly sized spherical fruits that grow on trees and weigh about the same. They have about the same number of calories per fruit. With the exception of…
Read MoreI want to be asked more rhetorical questions
I was watching Homeland last night (season 2, episode 1), and someone asked Claire Danes’ character, “Who do you think you are?” I was so jealous. I am so ready for this question. But no one ever asks me it. I hear it in movies and on television all the time, and I can recall…
Read MoreVerbal sparring 101: Acts of extreme self-flagellation are very useful
At the end of the previous school year, a colleague was upset with me for my failure to strictly comply to a policy related to her department. When she called to discuss this issue, one of my students answered the telephone, and because I was in the middle of a lesson, I told the student…
Read MoreVerbal sparring 101: The nuclear option is effective but will leave you radioactive
I was sitting at a table with three other people, including a man about 20 years older than me. We were discussing professional conduct and manners in today’s world, and the older gentleman was complaining about how “rude and uncivilized” people are today. “Kids, you mean?” I asked. “Not just kids. People your age, too.…
Read MoreVerbal sparring 101: Answer the rhetorical question
Whenever you find yourself in an argument, be on the alert for the rhetorical question. People love to use these questions as argumentative counterpoints, and they can quickly derail the unsuspecting opponent. But they are easily defended against by simply answering the question. For example: My opponent: “How dare you question my parenting decisions?” Me:…
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