Idea
A bit of unsolicited, surely unwanted advice for my millennial friends
I have, on occasion, offended a millennial friend by making a gross generalization about their generation. I know that generalizations can be annoying, inaccurate, and offensive. I know that I should avoid them whenever possible. For that, I apologize. But here’s the thing: I am a member of Generation X. When I was in my…
Read MoreIf you enjoy a glass floor, don’t forget to look down and thank your lucky stars
“But for a couple of bad breaks, especially visited upon vulnerable people, the outcome of life would be so different.” This is a sentence that Slate’s Mike Pesca spoke a couple months ago on his podcast The Gist in the midst of an interview. I wrote the sentence down immediately, and I’ve been thinking about…
Read MoreI performed stand up comedy for the first time for one very important reason.
Last year, a friend asked me to try stand up comedy with him. I said no and moved on with my life. But knowing I had to follow my “Say yes to everything” philosophy, I called him back the next day and said, “Fine, I’ll do it, but I won’t like it.” We agreed that in…
Read MoreBe kind to yourself. Celebrate your accomplishments. Have wild sex.
I’ve been speaking to a lot of writers lately. People who have written books and are hoping to find agents and editors and publishers who love their work and are willing to turn their words into physical objects that can be found on shelves in stores and libraries around the world. Throughout all of these…
Read MoreRecline at your own risk
Yes, airline seats recline, but they do so only as a way of identify assholes on your flight.
Read MoreDaylight Saving should be celebrated (or eliminated)
Daylight saving time should be eliminated. It’s one of those things that we continue to do because we’ve always done it, but it’s an asinine policy. But as long as we’re going to keep Daylight Saving Time intact, could we at least allow the time change to happen when it can be appreciated and enjoyed?…
Read MoreTwo things that will produce amazing results.
On Conan O’Brien’s last night as host of The Tonight Show, he offered this bit of advice that I think is almost perfect.
Read MoreA high opinion of your own opinion is a very good thing
John Wooden famously said, “The true test of a man’s character is what he does when no one is watching.” In other words, what do you do when there’s no one to either praise or scold you? It’s a good definition of character, but there is one flaw: If you have an exceptionally high opinion…
Read MoreI want a little signage, damn it.
I’m not asking for much. When construction begins on a new project, could we require that a sign be erected explaining what this new project will be? Last year, a gas station was removed from a plot of land near my home, and construction immediately began on something new. I drove by the site almost…
Read MoreThe men’s restroom: All I want is a little consistency, please…
I appreciate and embrace consistency in all things. Find the fastest, most accurate, most efficient, least expensive way of doing something, and repeat as often as needed. This is why men’s restrooms infuriate me. Almost all men’s restrooms contain urinals. This is good. They actually allow for the fastest, most efficient use of the restroom.…
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