Critic
Goggles
Each of my children own a pair of goggles, and I hate them so very much. Most of the children who frolic at the lake where we are spending many of our summer days are wearing goggles, and I despise every pair. I did not own goggles when I was growing up. As far as…
Read MoreKids are the worst.
Jennifer, age 8, was asked to write about what it would be like to turn 40 years old. Her answer was published in a Florida newspaper. Jennifer is clearly an idiot.
Read MoreThe problem with crossword puzzles
I’ve never done a crossword in my life. Like Sudoku, I hated the idea of working on something that yields nothing in return when I’m finished. Yes, my vocabulary might improve, and I’ll exercise my brain a bit, but I could just read a book instead and get all that a story or nonfiction title has…
Read MoreNortheast School is a stupid name for a school. Three times over.
I drove by Northeast School in Vernon, CT the other day. Lovely little school filled with teachers who are undoubtedly doing an excellent job, but Northeast School? With the opportunity to name a school after any of the people in the world worthy of recognition, the town of Vernon decided to name their school based…
Read MoreBoy and bear
You know what’s even more overhyped than a partial eclipse? The panda. I know I sound like a curmudgeon, but every time I see the panda at the National Zoo, I can’t help but think, “Yup. It’s a bear. Black and white, but really, just another bear.” My friends find bears wandering in their suburban…
Read MoreA restroom sign need not indicate the activity that takes place therein.
I’m a huge fan of clever restroom signage (and clever signs in general), but this one (found in Bethesda, Maryland) is not clever and is too explicit for me. It’s stupid, and I hate stupid.
Read MoreCheck your privilege at the door
Few things annoy me more than unacknowledged privilege. People who complain about social safety nets while enjoying ample safety nets of their own. For many, the unacknowledged safety net is the presence of a prosperous family. A childhood filled with stability, opportunity, and advantage. Private schools. Outstanding medical care. Travel. It’s the knowledge that financial…
Read MoreI stand opposed to applauding when the people responsible for the source of the applause are not present.
We watched the fireworks on the front lawn at Central Connecticut State University last night. We had a lovely time. The night was clear and cool. The kids were silly. The fireworks were spectacular. When the final booms sounded and the finale was at last over, people across the lawn applauded. I don’t support this.…
Read MoreBoys in skirts
It’s been done before under similar circumstances, but every time it happens, I feel great joy and hope for the world. A short-sighted, authoritarian school regime arbitrarily decrees that shorts are not permitted in accordance with the school’s purposeless dress code. At the same time, the school maintains that skirts, which are essentially shorts without…
Read MoreA summer camp has adopted my restriction on commenting on physical appearance, and I’m thrilled.
For more than a decade, I’ve been refraining from commenting on student’s physical appearance, both negatively or positively. It’s a policy I explain to parents and students at the beginning of the year, and it’s one that my students have always appreciated. My reasons are many. There are far more important qualities in a child…
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