Critic
I have opinions on a suggested 30 percent tip
When it comes to dining out, I am a good tipper. My standard tip is 20% rounded up, and if I am especially pleased with the service, I’ll add a dollar or two. I don’t have a problem with tipping for service at a restaurant. I also tip on the total bill, including tax, because…
Read MoreThe “Let’s do it” button
I worry that human beings, adults and children alike, are spending too much time staring at screens and not enough time communicating face-to-face. Rather than engaging in the messiness of human interaction, people simply send text messages. Rather than speaking directly to a colleague who has upset you, a scathing (and oftentimes cowardly) email is…
Read MoreThe worst thing about Valentine’s Day
It’s Valentine’s Day. I know that a great number of people can’t stand Valentine’s Day. They reject it as a fabricated, commercialized Hallmark holiday They protest the inflated flower prices and packed restaurants. They are offended by the reminder that they are still single. Or newly single. Or endlessly single. These are the folks who…
Read MoreNo straw but plenty of lemon? Absolutely stupid.
Elysha and I went to dinner on Saturday night with friends. I ordered a Diet Coke. When it arrived, it was adorned with an unrequested wedge of lemon but no straw. When I asked for a straw, I was informed by our server that the restaurant had eliminated straws in an effort to be more…
Read MoreHurting children because you are stupid
Elysha bought me a new Quip toothbrush. I am very excited. If you don’t have a Quip or don’t know what a Quip toothbrush is, find out. It’s fantastic. While I’m thinking about how clean my teeth are going to be, consider this: In 2013, the city council of Windsor, Ontario voted 8-3 to stop…
Read MoreRoman numerals are stupid
You know what’s really, really stupid? Roman numerals. Americans have an alphabet . It consists of 26 letters and is derived from the original Latin alphabet. There are other alphabets in the world today, including Cyrillic, Arabic, Greek, and Braille. but here in the United States, we use just one. We also have a system…
Read MoreThe worst part of the Christmas season
Every year it’s the same annoying thing: Sometime before Halloween or perhaps just after, Christmas decorations begin to appear in the stores. Lights and baubles and candy canes are placed on shelves. Commercials for holiday gift ideas begin to propagate on television and the internet. Even Christmas trees, some already lit and covered in ornaments…
Read MorePiñatas suck.
I’m going on the record saying that piñatas suck. Watching children at a recently birthday party bash this candy-filled monstrosity to pieces, it occurred to me how awful these things really are. A few truths about piñatas: Two or three kids at best get to whack the thing before it breaks open, leaving the other…
Read MoreNew Jersey is different and dumb.
I’m a nonconformist. I am not opposed to doing something different if the difference comes from a place of logic, efficiency, or common sense. I don’t wear neckties because they serve no purpose other than acting as floral nooses. I refuse to respond to anyone who has checked the restroom door, determined it to be…
Read MoreThe worst
Nuclear weaponsUnannounced pickles placed on plates without warning or permissionThe Trump PresidencyDress codesIdentity theftThe second and third Matrix filmsDance school teachers who perform in their students’ recitalsThe end of summer vacationIncarceration for minor drug offensesParents who disown their children for choices of spouse or religionSemicolonsThe gun show loopholeOff-brand Pop TartsThis sign Things that should not exist…
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