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I don’t love Star Trek, but this most recent Star Trek TELEVISION SHOW is amazing.

I have never been a huge Star Trek fan. The writers of Star Trek had the entire universe at their fingertips, and yet again and again they placed their characters in places like the Old West, Nazi Germany and the goddamn holodeck. I don’t want to see cowboys and Germany soldiers. I want to “new…

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Unfair assumption #11: People who tell you that a tomato is actually a fruit are actually some of the most pedantic and annoying people on the planet.

People who tell you that a tomato is actually a fruit and a banana is actually a berry are actually some of the most boring, pedantic and annoying people on the planet. You can read my previous ten unfair assumptions here.

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The Moth: Two Fathers

The following is a story that I told at a Moth StorySLAM at The New School in New York City in March of this year. The theme of the night was G0ing Sane. I told a story about my attempts to win the approval of my father and then my stepfather.  I finished in third…

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107 Federal Street update

As you may know, my sister and I write a blog called 107 Federal Street (named after the address of our childhood home) where we attempt to recover and discuss memories from our childhood. The purpose is twofold: 1. My memory from childhood is good, but my sister has an unbelievable memory. She can tell…

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Love me a drive-in movie

It’s the 80th anniversary of the drive-in movie theater. From LIFE magazine: It’s been 80 years since a New Jersey auto-parts store manager named Richard Hollingshead Jr. hit upon the idea of a drive-in theater. The wonder of Hollingshead’s concept, of course — as with all of the world’s greatest, most inspired, most life-affirming inventions…

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Placing an engagement ring in food is stupid.

Last week comedian and podcast host Marc Maron proposed to his girlfriend by hiding the engagement ring in a stack of pancakes. I do not understand the decision to conceal the engagement ring in food or drink. I cannot imagine a single instance in which this is the best or most preferred way to propose.…

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Chessboxing is an actual thing. If only it had been a thing in 1988.

I am a founding member of the Blackstone Millville Regional Junior Senior High School chess club. Quite an accomplishment. I checked with my alma mater. The chess club no longer exists. Honestly, I’m not sure if it even continued to exist during my time at the school. But for a brief period of time, possibly…

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The Moth: Parental Love in Absentia

The following is a story that I told at a Moth StorySLAM at The Bitter End in New York City in December of 2012. The theme of the night was Aftermath. I told a story about how my view of my parents has changed since having children of my own.  I was fortunate enough to…

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The opening number of the 2013 Tony Awards was one of the most astounding performances I have ever seen. You must watch.

My wife sent me an email with a title that read: Amazing. Worth watching. She was referencing the opening number of the Tony Awards, and while I was sure that it was lovely, I suspected that most of her adoration was the result of her crush on Neil Patrick Harris. I was wrong. Her title…

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But I love my job!

The Wall Street Journal published its annual list of Best and Worst Jobs of 2013. The lists consists of 200 jobs, ranked from best to worst based on five criteria: physical demands, work environment, income, stress, and hiring outlook. I currently have three jobs. I teach fifth grade at a public elementary school. I am…

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