Archive for October 2010
I’m afraid that I will someday be an unwanted wedding guest
Yesterday friends of mine attended the wedding of their friend’s daughter. While it was nice of them to go and certainly an honor to be invited, I suddenly find myself terrified that all of my friends will one day invite me to the weddings of their children. How dreadful. While I’m certain that these parties…
Read MoreMore on shoe removal
The Internet is a pretty astounding place. Earlier this week I wrote a post about homeowners asking guests to remove their shoes. I said that I found this to be a ridiculous request, but the point of my piece was to suggest that people should feel free to step outside the norm but also be…
Read MoreA tale of two weddings
My wife and I attended two very different weddings last weekend. The wedding where I worked as a minister and a DJ took place in Simsbury. The ceremony was held at a farm, complete with hogs, tractors, hay bales and dirt roads. The couple was married in a picturesque field surrounded by similarly picturesque fields…
Read MoreLook under the back panties
I convinced my friend’s four-year old twin boys that she had hidden their driver’s licenses in her underwear drawer under her black panties (because all four-year olds have driver’s licenses that are hidden away from them until they turn sixteen). The boys left the restaurant ready and anxious to toss aside Mommy’s unmentionables in search…
Read MoreShe is much too thin
This past week I heard no less than four women complain about another woman being too thin. They reminded me of New Yorker writer Ariel Levy mentioning Cindy McCain’s size zero in her litany of Cindy McCain faults during an interview about an article she wrote a couple years ago. “She has been taught her…
Read MoreThe phone sucks. Voice mail is slightly more palatable, and now, it’s easily accessible.
I despise the phone. In a recent survey of incoming calls to my phone (26 in all over a period of eight days), more than half of these calls were requests for favors and assistance. And in almost every instance, the call stopped me in the midst of something more important. Makes me not want…
Read MoreNo more neckties
I often think of tradition in terms of aliens. If aliens landed on the planet right now, what would they think of the activities in which we are now engaged? As a DJ, this thought most often occurs to me as I’m leading 50 wedding guests in the Macarena. If a flying saucer landed and…
Read MoreIt’s your house and your rules, but I don’t have to like them.
Slate’s Emily Yoffe offers advice to a woman who would like visitors to remove their shoes upon entering her home. In the words of the advice-seeker: “How do I let guests know that I want them to take off their shoes without posting a nagging sign by the door? I always take my shoes off,…
Read MoreConfessions of an Elmo addict
Ever since my daughter began watching Sesame Street, I’ve noticed a few things, including the following: 1. I have probably watched a total of three hours of Sesame Street in the last three months, and I use the term watched loosely. I am often folding clothes, brushing me teeth, getting dressed or listening to a…
Read MoreA rock and a hard place
I was playing basketball today with a bunch of guys much younger than me, including several kids from the local high school. There are times on the court when tempers flare, and yesterday was no exception. Two kids had been needling each other throughout much of the game, but as the taller of the two…
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