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You’re not welcome

I spent last Saturday attending a bat mitzvah in New Jersey. It was a long drive and an early start, so we awoke early, plucked our daughter from the crib, changed her diaper and plopped her into her car seat, still wearing her pajamas. Upon arriving to the temple three hours later, my wife and…

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I got hit by a car and forgot about it, and my memory loss had nothing to do with my head injury

On Easter, 2001, I was leaving Boston Market with a meal for six when I was hit by a car that was speeding around the building and into the parking lot. I was thrown over the hood of the car, spilling my food all over the jerk’s windshield and knocking me to the pavement. The…

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Programmed to despise shopping

I was listening to a former student, a boy, describe his recent adventures in the mall. Though he spoke for about five minutes, the crux of his story was this: My friends and I went to the mall and other retail establishments in town and acted like twelve and thirteen year old boys. We ran…

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Sit and watch Daddy poop!

Thank goodness I’ve never found myself with the need to strap one of my children into one of these things. I’m not the most modest person in the world, but this would be too much for even me.

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Talking to the wrong guy, buddy

I was standing next to a tall, round man in the line at McDonald’s, waiting for my food. This was the same restaurant that I managed while attending college, so I have several friends still working there.  After a moment of waiting for our orders, the man turned to me and said, “You need to…

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Lacking social sensitivity and stress

Two recent Scientific American reports that speak directly to me: 1. Researchers have found that the intelligence of individual group members is not a good predictor of how well the group as a whole performs. Teams that perform best rate high in social sensitivity: their members interact well, take turns speaking and include more females…

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Preferred parking for managers and administrators is really just jackass parking.

I don’t understand the preferred parking spots set aside for the managers of companies, the presidents of golf clubs, and the owners of small businesses. The signs that say Reserved for the Manager. Club President Only. Presidential Parking. Or even worse, when one of these jackasses puts their name on the sign. I realize that my managerial experience…

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Where is your engagement ring?

Two questions for the divorced women of the world, and for anyone else who has an opinion on the subject: What does a woman typically do with her engagement ring following a divorce? More importantly, what is the moral, ethical, equitable and sensible thing to do with it? In one sense, an engagement ring is…

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Best gift ever

One of my students asked me what the best gift I ever received was. I had many choices. Elysha bought me a TiVo several years ago, which I have enjoyed a great deal. She also gave me a signed copy of a Kurt Vonnegut novel that was unforgettable. Oh, and she gave me a catapult-like…

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