Stand up for your food preferences

Okay, I know I’ve been harping on food preferences, poisonous broccoli, and even vegetable-based aliens in recent weeks, but here’s one more thought on food. This is actually something I wrote a while ago, updated for the current discussion.
My wife and I asked a couple over for dinner. The couple had recently begun the South Beach diet. Worried about what we might serve them for dinner, the husband emailed me about his dietary restrictions.

When his wife saw the email later that day, she immediately called me to apologize for her husband’s “rudeness.”

I didn’t think my friend was rude at all.

As a host, it’s my responsibility to ensure the comfort and happiness of my guests. To do so effectively, I need as much information about their needs as possible. My friends have placed themselves on a very restricted diet, and as a result, there are many foods that they cannot eat. Knowing this helped us plan for them.

In fact, I believe it’s rude for a host not to consider their guest’s specific dietary restrictions.

When invited to dinner, I believe it is the host’s responsibility to determine which foods are palatable to his guests and which are not. As a genetically superior individual when it comes to taste buds, I always appreciate it when the host of a dinner party reviews the menu with me beforehand. Nothing is more awkward than for a host to watch their guest pick a plate of food that the guest does not like.

Several years ago, I was eating Christmas dinner at a girlfriend’s house. My girlfriend’s father considered himself quite a chef and had always made Christmas dinner a vast production. Wearing an enormous chef’s hat, he took great pleasure in watching his guests enjoy his culinary creations.

As the serving dishes were being passed around the table, one of the guests, a longtime friend of my girlfriend’s father, noticed that I had bypassed several food items. She questioned my decision, and I explained my limited palate and the biological link between one’s palate and the number of taste buds a person has. “Regrettably,” I said, “I have no control over the foods I can eat.”

This woman exalted in my response.

“Thank you,” she said. “My mother taught me to eat whatever was put in front of me, no matter if I liked the food or not, so I’ve spent a lifetime eating foods that I cannot stand. But you’re right. I can’t control what food I like, and I shouldn’t be expected to eat things that make me sick. Thank you!”

A general outburst of agreement consumed the table, upon which people began bypassing several items on the table, noting each time they did so. For more than fifteen minutes, the conversation was about this new and exciting revelation.

Not surprisingly, my girlfriend’s father was not pleased.

My girlfriend and I broke up less than a month later.

Please note: I’m not saying that the menu of every dinner party should be geared around a single individual, but some account of each guest’s preferences should be made. At least publicize your menu so that your guests can be prepared.

For example, when Elysha and I went to dinner at a friend’s home the following week, we knew they would serve butternut squash soup and salad.
This was not an entrée selection that I could stomach.

Therefore, I came prepared with a bowl of clam chowder and a portion of meatloaf for myself.

Everyone was happy.

My in-laws threw my wife and me an engagement party several years ago and planned on serving a cold salmon dish as the entree. Not liking salmon, especially cold, my wife went to the store and bought me a hunk of meatloaf for dinner, and I heated it in the microwave as dinner was served. Though everyone loved the food my in-laws served, I had more than a few people ask me where the meatloaf was.

“At the supermarket,” I replied each time, much to their dismay.

So, I thanked my friend for alerting me to his dietary restrictions and allowing me to make his visit as pleasant as possible. What seemed rude to his wife was common sense to me.

And isn’t this too often the case?

Social mores trumping common sense.