“Holy guacamole!”
“Holy guacamole” is an expression of disbelief or surprise based solely on the fact that the words “holy” and “guacamole” rhyme.
Someone, at some point in history, took two random words that rhymed and created a new expression to replace its more vulgar version.
This, in my opinion, makes the expression stupid.
It’s also a fact that it’s stupid.
In fact, it’s nearly as stupid as my least favorite simile of all time, “Drunk as a skunk,” which is also based entirely on the rhyme. Skunks have absolutely nothing to do with alcohol consumption or inebriation, nor are the traditionally known as animals who lose their balance and vomit into planters.
“Skunk” and “drunk” rhyme. That is the extent of the simile.
That is why it is also stupid. Admittedly more stupid than “Holy guacamole,” but not by much.
“Holy moly,” on the other hand, is a late 19th century alteration of “holy Moses,” popularized in the 1940s by Captain Marvel in DC comic book of the same name. This makes “holy moly” not stupid. It’s not exactly smart, but at least it’s not stupid. It’s more than simply the rhyming of two unrelated words to create a new phrase. It has a basis in religion and history.
“Holy cow” has its origins in the sacredness of the cow in the Hindu religion. Therefore also not stupid. Not exactly scintillating or evocative, but at least it means something.
Phrases like “Holy buckets” and “Holy underwear” which are popular in England, are obvious puns on the word “holy.”
I hate puns. I hate them so much. Still, these stupid puns are not nearly as stupid as “Holy guacamole” and are only stupid because they are puns. But at least they, too, possess some meaning.
Batman’s sad, little sidekick, Robin, is famous for constantly creating new nonsensical expressions with the word “holy,” but this is designed to be amusing. It’s funny because it’s stupid. It also has a purpose.
“Holy guacamole” has none of these things.
My daughter, Clara, recently accused me of being too discerning (after I taught her the meaning of the word “discerning”). She wondered why I needed to watch every movie and television show and read every book with such a critical eye. She wanted to know why I couldn’t just enjoy a story without tearing it apart.
I do enjoy movies, I assured her. Books and TV shows, too. Lots of them. Sometimes even the ones that I find deeply flawed. And perhaps I am too discerning. Too critical of things written and spoken and made. But the alternative would be to allow mediocrity, stupidity, and an absence of logic and common sense to stand uncontested. To go through this world thinking that everything is okay.
I can’t do it. I cannot simply allow the warm waters of mediocrity to wash over me unexamined.
I suspect that Clara (and perhaps you) might think that I’m overthinking this “Holy guacamole!” thing. Maybe there’s nothing wrong with a phrase based solely upon a rhyme. “It’s fun to say!” one might argue. “It’s useful! It’s meaning is clear.”
I hear what you’re saying, and if I were any less discerning, I might think the same way, too.
That would be wrongheaded of course. A terrible and tragic mistake. But I understand how a lack of curiosity and intellectual rigor and a desire for simplicity might cause a person to think this way. I get it. I really do.
It’s just not me.
