Four life lessons

I visited my friend’s high school English class this week. I talked about storytelling, writing, and creative productivity. I also answered questions about my life.

But as I often do, I also shared life lessons — organically, of course. Someone asks me a question, or something is said, and in response, I fire off a story or teach a lesson or both.

It happens all the time.

I’m currently working on a book about the life lessons I teach my students every year. They pile up quickly, and frankly, they are often more important than the math, reading, and writing lessons I teach.

My students agree.

The four life lessons I taught in my friend’s classroom were these:

1. The length of time it takes a person to answer a question is often more instructive than the answer itself.
2. When being questioned by the police for any reason, always request an attorney. Otherwise, remain silent, regardless of the circumstances.
3. Young women should never waste their time fighting over young men. Date them. Dance with them. Kiss them. But don’t fight over them. Most men under the age of 25 are rarely worth fighting over. Focus instead on building your career, establishing a strong network of female friends and colleagues, and marshaling your resources because the world needs more women in positions of power.
4. When someone says they’re not judgmental, always say, “Oh, I’m exceptionally judgmental. Constantly. Right now, in fact.” Then pause. It’s great fun.