First Prize?

While performing in Schenectady, New York, a couple of weekends ago, I drove by this restaurant, which, as far as I can tell, could be:

“First Prize Mike’s Frankfurts along with First Prize Hots with our Sauce”

or…

“First Prize Franfurts” and also “Mike’s First Prize Hots with Our Sauce”

Or maybe just “First Prize Mike’s,” which features frankfurts and “First Prize hots with our sauce”

Or some other combination of this word salad.

The online listing refers to the restaurant as “First Prize Mike’s” and fails to mention all of the other nonsense on the sign, so who knows what it’s supposed to be.

It’s admittedly unusual to see “First prize” listed twice on a sign advertising the restaurant’s name. It’s also not entirely certain what “Finest ever made” refers to:

The Frankfurts? The Hots? Mike himself?

Also, what are “hots,” and are they still first-prize worthy without the sauce?

Also, and this is important, what prize did Mike win? How was this prize decided? And when was this prize won? Last year? A decade ago? Longer? The website indicates that the restaurant has been a family-owned business for more than 75 years. Does this mean that the first prize was won when Truman was still President, or is this first prize a more recent development?

I was a Truman Scholarship finalist, which was a big deal. Only six people in the country made the final round, which included a three-day stay in New York City for a series of interviews by the committee.

When I arrived in New York, I discovered that my competition consisted of two students from Harvard, three from Yale, and one from Dartmouth.

I was attending Manchester Community College.

I realized immediately that my chances of winning the scholarship were slim, and I was right.

Still, it was a big deal to be named a finalist. That same year, thanks in part to my finalist status, I was also named a USA Today Academic All-American. All while managing a McDonald’s restaurant full-time and launching our DJ company.

But that all happened back in 1996. It would be weird to tout these achievements on my resume or bio today. Right?

I was also a West Hartford Teacher of the Year and one of three finalists for Connecticut Teacher of the Year. My fellow finalists that year were women who had been teaching for 35 and 31 years, respectively.

I had been teaching for five years at that point.

Again, I knew that “finalist” was as far as I was going.

Still, it was a big deal to be named West Hartford Teacher of the Year and one of three finalists for Connecticut’s Teacher of the Year, but that was back in 2005. I still mention this in my bio because I’m still teaching today, but even that feels a little dated.

So it’s important to know when Mike (who might be dead) won this mystery first prize. And how long will he tout his victory before the signage is changed?

Or will Mike hang his hat on his first prize victory for now and ever more?

These were my thoughts when I entered this restaurant of indeterminate name and ate lunch.

The hot dog was very good, but I did not feel like it was first-prize worthy.