Breaks rules is not a negative trait

I was completing a checklist on a child to determine if they required additional academic support:

Hundreds of questions designed to identify a child’s strengths and weaknesses.

Question #68 asked:

Breaks the rules just to see what will happen.

• Never
• Sometimes
• Often
• Almost always

The child in question was “Never” on this particular question, but as I moved on to the next question, it dawned on me:

I think that “Breaks the rules just to see what will happen” is perceived as a negative quality on this assessment.

I checked with a psychologist who confirmed this assumption. “Breaks the rules just to see what will happen” is coded as a negative attribute on the assessment. It’s considered an undesirable quality in a student.

What a disaster.

I’ve spent much of my life “breaking the rules just to see what will happen.” I think it’s a highly advantageous and positive quality in a person.

Not in all cases, of course. I don’t open the emergency doors on airplanes or cross busy intersections against the light, and I don’t break rules when it would adversely impact other human beings in any meaningful way, but a multitude of rules can be broken in order to improve your life while not adversely impacting others.

The most common example of this is ignoring paperwork and other bureaucratic tasks that are irrelevant, meaningless, and most importantly, unnoticed and unused.

So many of them can be avoided altogether.

I’m often the person piloting the “I won’t do this – Let’s see what happens” program.

In many cases, nothing happens. No one cares. No one is even looking.

But I’m also someone who frequently goes through doors marked with signs advising against it.

I’ve helped (and encouraged) many female friends to access the men’s restrooms when the line to the women’s restroom was exceedingly long.

I’m constantly inventing new parking spots in otherwise full parking lots.

In high school and college, I purposely did subpar work on assignments early in the semester to see if the teacher or professor would even take notice. Many did not. As a result, I knew exactly how hard to work in each class or how much attention I needed to pay to citations, rubrics, formats, and the like.

I took a class about five years ago at Central Connecticut State University and applied the same strategy. My work became so substandard that I found myself trying to get less than an A on an assignment.

It was impossible. I wrote papers filled with irrelevant and nonsensical sentences. I repeated sentences again and again. I wrote paragraphs entirely unrelated to the topic, but I always received the highest mark. Not a great sign for an institution of higher learning or for someone who really needed to write good papers in order to learn the content, but I was not one of those people. I did the reading, attended class, engaged in discussion, and learned the content, absent any attempt to demonstrate my learning on paper.

Huzzah.

A willingness to break rules to see what will happen is essential to saving time, which in my life, equates to more time spent with family and friends and more time spent on work that is meaningful to me, my students, and my clients.

“Breaking the rules to see what will happen” is an acknowledgment that not every rule is sensible, reasonable, or enforced. It’s a willingness to push on boundaries, expand your vision, and challenge the world.

“It’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission” is a close cousin to “Breaks the rules to see what will happen,” and it’s a proverb that I live by. And I want my kids to do the same.

A few years ago, I took my family to Yawgoog Scout Reservation, the Boy Scout camp where I spent so many summers. We eventually made our way down to the waterfront, which was closed at the time.

Everyone was in the dining hall, eating lunch.

I took the family over to the watch tower. Ascend a series of steps and you find yourself high above the waterfront with a spectacular view of the water and surrounding land.

The problem?

Since the waterfront was closed, a bit of rope was stretched across the entrance to the watch tower, indicating it was closed. I reached for the rope, but my son and daughter protested. Argued that I was breaking a rule. Worried that we might get in trouble. They are rule followers of the highest order, and it makes me crazy.

“Let’s break the rule and see if anyone even cares,” I said.

It took quite a bit of coaxing and cajoling before they finally ascended the steps of the watch tower and were gifted with that spectacular view. Both admitted that they were happy to have broken the rule.

“Just think,” I said. “You almost let a small piece of rope keep you from seeing all of this.”

I’m not opposed to rules. I’m not opposed to adhering to rules. But I’m also not opposed to testing the limits of rules whenever it seems reasonable or even advisable, or whenever the rules seem unnecessary, frivolous, or foolish.

I’m never going to allow a length of rope to stop me from ascending great heights and experiencing the world is significant and unforgettable ways.

“Breaks the rules just to see what will happen” is a sign of an adventurous mind. It’s an indication of a person who wants to test boundaries, expand knowledge, preserve time, find a more efficient path, and make sense of the world.

It’s bold, daring, and even courageous at times.

It is, most definitely, not a negative trait.