Archive for February 2018
My wife and kids slow me down. Gloriously so.
I loved this dedication by Joseph J. Rotman. While it may seem like he’s throwing some shade at his family, I suspect not. 2017 was an exceptionally busy time for me. I completed three books (an adult novel, a middle grade novel, and a book of nonfiction), all within a single calendar year, which…
Read MoreWalking a paper route with a friend taught me an invaluable lesson.
I’m admittedly hyper-focused on productivity. “How can I do more in less time?” has been a flashing beacon in my mind for a long, long time. As far back as I can remember. Along those same lines has been this question: “What is the most productive way to spend my time?” This second question came…
Read MoreMy kids first paying gig and my first paying gig were very, very different
My first paying gig, as far as I can recall, was in 1991 when I performed as the stripper for a bachelorette party in the crew room of a McDonald’s restaurant in Milford, MA. I was unexpectedly paid $100 for the unexpectedly humiliating experience. You can watch me tell that story here: Since that day,…
Read MoreTrump can’t be banned from Twitter, but then he shouldn’t be able to block me, either.
As you may know, the President has blocked me on Twitter. Shortly after I fired off three successive tweets at him this summer about his failure to produce his promised tax returns, Trump tweeted some inane nonsense to the world and then blocked three people (likely the three at the top of his feed), including…
Read MoreIt hurts to ask sometimes.
You’ve heard the expression, “It never hurts to ask.” Right? I’m here to report that this expression is nonsense. It hurts to ask. At least some of the time. I despise this expression because some of the people who I find most annoying in this world are the ones who ask. Not for your occasional…
Read MoreThere was a time in this country when Dads knew more than kids
My kids were watching a TV show in the other room. I heard one of the characters in the show mention that they were going to explore the Mariana Trench. “That’s the deepest place in the world,” I said. “As far as humans know,” Clara shouted. “Over 90% of the world’s oceans are unexplored! There…
Read More$1.50 and a deleted tweet says everything you need to know.
This is a real tweet, posted and then quickly deleted by Paul Ryan after an enormous backlash from the internet. This is what Republican lawmakers actually think: An extra $1.50 per paycheck is a meaningful increase. Something worth bragging about. Meanwhile, estimates What Ryan doesn’t want you to know is five things: More than 80%…
Read MoreThe offer of a golden toilet seems just right
If you’re looking to make a charitable donation to a worthy organization, might I suggest you consider the Guggenheim Museum in New York? Thanks to a recently leaked email, when the White House emailed the Guggenheim in September and asked to borrow Vincent Van Gogh’s 1888 painting “Landscape with Snow,” the curator made a counteroffer:…
Read MoreFour books in two months has been challenging, and this isn’t helping.
I’m working like hell to wrap up my first middle grade novel. It should be done in a day or two. I’m excited about the idea of writing a book aimed at the students I teach. Although Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend and The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs crossed over into the YA market, this…
Read MoreResolution update: January 2018
Note: I’ve added a goal since posting my 2018 goals on January 1: Pitch a new Moth Mainstage story to the artistic director of The Moth. I’ve had the honor of performing two stories on Moth’s Mainstages over my career. I’d like to pitch another story to them in 2018. PERSONAL HEALTH 1. Don’t die.…
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