Guilt-free book club

My book club has been attempting to arrange a meeting time after a six-month hiatus, during which my daughter Clara was born. The following is a string of emails we exchanged over the past two days as we attempted to organize a meeting. Our friends’ names have been changed in deference to their anonymity.

To follow the emails, you should note that our book club consists of three couples: Boris and Svetlana Leningrad, Sonny and Cher, and my wife, Elysha, and me.

Here goes:

Boris: In the spirit of full disclosure, I have every bit of confidence I will not be able to finish the book by Saturday. Truth be told, I can’t find the bloody thing at the moment.

Svetlana: Boris lost my book.

Matt: This is not looking good. Brunch either way, though. Or was it dinner? I forget. Either way.

Elysha: Well, I guess that wasn’t really decided. Group, what do you prefer? Dinner or brunch. I know there’s some sort of athletic thing in the morning. I’m leaning toward dinner to give me a little extra time to finish the book…

Svetlana: Dinner.

Sonny: Dinner.

Elysha: Perfect. See you at 6:30!

ONE DAY LATER

Boris: Sorry to put a wrinkle in this but the Leningrads have a commitment (my sister’s fortieth anniversary party) for dinner on Saturday.

Svetlana: OK. Leningrads forgot that we have Boris’s sister’s anniversary party in Northampton on Saturday night. You guys can go ahead without us- or we could try to find time next weekend. Sorry to be so difficult. Leningrads are not on top of their game…maybe we need a little life coaching from Dr. Matt.

Matt: I just proposed to Elysha that we push it back a couple weeks. It’ll be a lot easier for us to do an evening because we can put Clara to bed around 7:30 and enjoy the evening sans baby. And school will be done so the schedules will be less jam packed. But I would expect Boris to have used the extra time wisely and read. Thoughts Elysha? Maybe the first or second Friday in July?

Cher: First Friday sounds great. Second Friday we may be out of town 🙁

Boris: Hey at least I’m willing to admit I haven’t read.

Matt: I never understand why people want credit for telling the truth. I thought the truth was to be expected. Not celebrated.

Boris: Don’t want credit. Want others to join me

Matt: Mediocrity loves company!

Svetlana: I’ve barely started the book. There! Apparently honesty wants company…

Cher: OK, if confession is good for the soul… I read about three-quarters of it months ago, didn’t finish, but now I’ve likely got to start over!

Boris: I found the book…hidden under YOUR Kindle.

Cher: KINDLE!? You DIDN’T!

Svetlana: What??

Cher: I’m as tech-addicted as the next person, but books on a screen just seem so wrong. Hate reading screens all day. Don’t want to do it in my personal life.

Elysha: Well, that frees up my day! I was going to put poor Clara in her bouncy seat and try to power through the book! First Friday in July sounds fine. As long as Svetlana doesn’t become a Kindle preacher like my dad I have no problem with it…

Sonny: What book are we talking about? Has somebody chosen the next title?

Cher: Get with the program, Dear. We’re all so pathetic that we haven’t even finished the book Elysha assigned six months ago!

Boris: I’m glad to be in such good company.

Cher: In Sonny’s defense let’s blame his memory deficiency on the birth of Clara and my inability to schedule our group in a reasonable amount of time…

Svetlana: I’m so proud to be part of this book group!