Archive for September 2016
Policing the national anthem makes you a self-righteous jerk
This isn’t a post about the athletes who are kneeling or sitting during the singing of the national anthem. When it comes to that particular form of protest, I would personally prefer that they find a different way to draw attention to a very important issue, but I also recognize and respect their right to…
Read MoreStyling advice from a fifth grader
I received advice on my hair from a student this week in the form of a post-script. Sadly, he was stone-cold sincere.
Read MoreShouldn’t yellow raincoats the only appropriately colored raincoats?
School buses are most often painted yellow because the color attracts attention and is noticed quickly by peripheral vision. In fact, the human eye detects yellow faster than any other color. Scientists describe this as follows: “Lateral peripheral vision for detecting yellows is 1.24 times greater than for red.” For this same reason, raincoats are…
Read MoreWater Street Bookstore appearance
This summer I spoke at the Water Street Bookstore in Exeter, NH about my latest novel, The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs. A local television news crew recorded the event and posted it to YouTube. If you’ve always wanted to attend one of my book events but haven’t been able to, here’s your chance (though…
Read MoreA trip to the plumbing store, because that’s where all kids want to go. Right?
My son’s ongoing obsession with water treatment facilities, electrical grids, and underlying infrastructure of our world (and more recently, the human body) perhaps reached its apex this week when he asked my wife to stop at a plumbing supply store so he could examine the items in stock. Credit my wife for taking the time to…
Read MoreEvery time I tie my shoes…
Here’s a little secret about me that I’ve never shared with anyone before: Every time I tie my shoes, I think of Mrs. Carroll, the teaching assistant who sat at a table in the hallway between Mrs. Dubois and Mrs. Roberge’s kindergarten classroom at John F. Kennedy Elementary School in Blackstone, MA. Mrs. Carroll taught…
Read MoreThe Most Poorly Named Character in All of Literature
Willy Wonka. Charlie Bucket.Augustus Gloop.Veruca Salt. Violet Beauregarde.Grandpa Joe.Grandma Georgina.The Oompa Loompas. Amazing, perfect, ingenious character names from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, written by master storyteller Roald Dahl, who was born 100 years ago today. And then, for reasons I will never understand, there was Mike Teavee, a boy addicted to television. The worst character name in…
Read MoreVincent Van Gogh on Doctor Who makes me cry.
You may know that I don’t handle mortality well. One of the things that hurts my heart most is the idea that when we die, we cannot see tomorrow. We’ll never know how this grand story ends, and how far reaching our influence may be. I weep for people like Abraham Lincoln, Edgar Allen Poe, Johann…
Read MoreAt last I am a Beautiful Person. Verified and confirmed by beautifulpeople.com.
In 2013, I applied twice for acceptance to beautifulpeople.com, a social networking site designed specifically for attractive people. Access to beautifulpeople.com is granted only if the members of the network deem you attractive enough to be a member. I was rejected both times. I cataloged my rejections in blog posts in both August and September of that…
Read More“Flesh” was a crayon color.
Yes, Clara and Charlie. your daddy grew up in a time when “flesh” was an actual Crayola color. It’s a miracle I survived.
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