Archive for December 2013
A writer’s worst enemy
The plan was to spend the afternoon in the library, toiling away at the manuscript. But as I was packing the laptop, this was happening, which means that progress on my book ceased around 1:30. I’ll regret the lost time in a few days when I am pecking away into the wee hours of the…
Read MoreThe only thing I want for Christmas is a tiny scrap of paper
Yesterday a friend and I were scheduled to drive a U-Haul up to my in-laws’ home in the Berkshires to pick up some living room furniture for my home. An hour before we were to depart, my friend’s wife texted me, telling me that her husband was doubled over with a stomach bug and unable…
Read MoreI have a lot of jobs. I have a lot of jobs that I still want. And I have a lot of occupations that I wish to pursue. Here is my 2014 list.
I wear many hats. I do many things. I collect many occupations. At the moment, my list of jobs for which I am paid include: teacher tutor author wedding DJ minister public speaker In 2013 I was also paid to serve as a life coach, though I am currently without clients. Despite my large number…
Read MoreMy 3 completely biased, overly judgmental and fully valid rules of selfies
Try to avoid saying the word selfie aloud. You will always sound at least a little dumb when doing so. Even writing the word makes you sound a little stupid. Any attempt to look sexy or alluring in a selfie is only going to make you look a little desperate. This includes pursed lips, well…
Read MoreUnfair assumption #18: Not every girl-kissing-girl moment is equal
People who prefer Katie Perry’s “I Kiss a Girl” to Jill Solble’s “I Kissed a Girl” have clearly lost their minds.
Read MoreContender for best golf shot of the year
The thing about this unbelievable golf shot is that my friends would call me an idiot for ever attempting such a shot. But here is a professional golfer, making it work better than even he could’ve imagined. See. Maybe I’m not such an idiot after all. Also, I would’ve never been able to make this…
Read MoreBigots are better than naked priests
Methodist minister Frank Schaefer was defrocked on Thursday for violating church law by presiding at his son’s same-sex wedding. Obviously the Methodist Church sucks for doing this. But in addition to ending their bigotry and buffet-style application of Biblical law, I would also suggest removing the word defrock from the church’s lexicon as well. I…
Read MoreFuture scientist? Or future member of Metallica?
There are two possibilities here: 1. He is studying the gravitational and centrifugal forces that cause the plate to wobble and fall similar to the way a scientist might study a similar phenomenon. 2. He likes to make noise. As his father, I’m not sure which one would be better. They both sounds pretty great…
Read MoreI would love to play the role of Gandalf the Grey and stop trains. Just not at this moment.
I see this kind of hilarious brilliance (make sure you watch until the very end), and I think three things: I wish I had thought of that first. With my luck, I would’ve been arrested on suspicious of terrorism. Despite how much I love and admire this, I’m not sure that I would want to…
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