Archive for December 2013
The needless shortening of words is cray tradge. It must stop
I’m going on the record as vehemently opposing the needless shortening of words. This weekend I heard someone shorten champagne to champers. On the radio, no less. Not only does this sound stupid, but it’s impossible to spell champers without confusing people. Champers also has the same number of syllables as champagne, thereby nullifying any…
Read MoreApple’s “Misunderstood” is brilliant and completely unrealistic
Even though I saw the ending coming a mile away, I thought this commercial was incredibly clever. Sweet, even. Also completely unrealistic. Every time I see someone with their head buried in their phone, they are texting or playing that stupid Candy Crush game. Sadly, no one is ever creating. Admittedly, I have never played…
Read MoreThe Moth: The Boy’s Mother Was Dead
The following is a story that I told at a Moth StorySLAM at The Bitter End in New York City earlier this year. The theme of the night was Scars. I told a story about a terrible mistake that I made while student teaching. I finished in second place.
Read More103 degrees
Not even an iPad can defeat a 103 degree fever.
Read MoreBest goals ever
I’m a big fan of goal setting. At the beginning of very year, I establish a list of difficult-to-achieve New Year’s resolutions and then work like hell to achieve them. I document my progress, post it to my blog and add and modify goals when necessary. I’ve been setting goals for years, but I don’t…
Read MoreCell phone crashing: Beyond even me
I have a lot of nerve. I say things that perhaps shouldn’t be said. On Saturday morning, while waiting in line, a overheard a woman tell a McDonald’s manager that the parking lot wasn’t plowed yet. In response, I told her that she had forgotten to wear her Captain Obvious cape today. I’m very defensive…
Read More2013 Matthew Dicks Holiday Gift Guide
In keeping with the way that I shop for the holidays (last minute), I present my first ever holiday gift guide. I have attempted to create a list of gifts that are inexpensive, in some cases unique and guaranteed to please the recipient. Almost all of these gifts also fall into the four categories of…
Read More7 serious problems with the Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer television special
As well as the Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer television special holds up after 50 years (I still adore it), there are admittedly some serious problems with the special in relation to modern day norms that I noticed while watching the special with my family last night. 1. Yukon Cornelius carries a gun and a…
Read MoreBabes with books
Just imagine how much better it will be when they can actually read. I hope.
Read MoreSaying yes to Santa Claus and everything else
I dressed up as Santa Claus yesterday in order to entertain a room full of children at a neighborhood Christmas party. A colleague hosts the party each year, and about two dozen children fill her living room to sing Christmas carols and meet Santa. Her originally-scheduled Santa was unavailable for the morning, so I offered…
Read More