PERSONAL FITNESS
1. Don’t die.
Alive! Not even a near-death incident in April, which is saying something for me.
Actually, a student threw open a classroom door and hit me in the head so hard I wasn’t sure what had happened, so that wasn’t great. But not exactly life threatening.
2. Lose 20 pounds.
I lost one pound in April. I’ve lost a whopping two pounds in 2022.
3. Do at least 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and 3 one-minute planks for five days a week.
I resumed sit-ups, push-ups, and planks in March. After a nearly five month hiatus, it wasn’t easy.
It still isn’t.
4. Cycle for at least 5 days every week.
I rode the bike for at least 5 days per week in April, including two rides on the actual bike.
5. Establish my golfing handicap, then lower that handicap by at least 2.
Handicap established. After playing 81 holes of golf in Bermuda, my handicap is a whopping 35.4.
I played two rounds of golf in April, but one was with Charlie. Given that we play a short course from the red tees, I don’t count those scores (though he tied me on two holes for the first time ever).
WRITING CAREER
6. Complete my seventh novel.
“Someday is Today” is complete. It hits bookstores on June 7. You should preorder immediately and make me happy.
I’ve submitted my golf memoir to my agent for consideration.
I’ve begun the process of getting my first middle grade novel into shape for publication while tinkering with my next adult novel.
Between the middle grade novel and the new adult novel, one should be completed by the end of the year, I hope.
7. Prepare “Storyworthy 2” or update “Storyworthy” or both for potential sale.
Done! And great news! “Storyworthy 2,” now entitled “You Are Storyworthy” is a go. My editor and agent will hammer out the details, but my editor loves the idea and has agreed to publish.
We’ll also do a re-release of “Storyworthy” with lots of new content in 2023 or 2024 depending on publishing schedules.
8. Write/complete at least three new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist, and one protagonist who is not neurotypical.
I continue work on a new picture book entitled “Hug a Fish.” I’m creating the actual book alongside my students, who are also creating their own. It features a female, non-white protagonist.
I’m also working on a partially written manuscript from 2021 entitled “Who Put the Baby in a Tree?”
9. Complete a memoir.
I have two memoirs in progress:
One about the two year period when I was arrested, jailed, and tried for a crime I did not commit, which also led to homelessness then a pantry off a kitchen that I shared with a goat. I was also the victim of a horrific robbery at that time that left me with a lifetime of PTSD amongst other awfulness.
Also participation in an underground arm wrestling and gambling ring.
The second is about the two year period in which a lowly band of anonymous cowards attempted to destroy my teaching career.
I think I’ve decided to focus on this one. Writing it will also help inform the musical that my writing partner and I are working on, though I am still occasionally tinkering with the other, too.
Not a great formula.
I wrote about 10,000 words between the two in April.
10. Write a new screenplay.
I spoke to my writing partner, who has been derailed from our project by several projects. We hope to resume writing soon.
11. Write a solo show.
No progress.
12. Write a musical.
Outline (written on the way home from a Moth StorySLAM) received from my writing partner, Kaia. We plan to work on the project this summer, using the memoir pages to inform the work.
13. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.
One essay submitted and rejected in April.
Three essays submitted so far in 2022.
14. Write at least four letters to my father.
No progress.
15. Write 100 letters in 2022.
A total of 29 letters written in April, including letters to a local restaurant that served us an outstanding Sunday brunch, a member of Congress who said a very stupid thing, letters of condolence, a letter to a friend, letters to authors, and a letter to Elysha.
A total of 49 letters written in 2022 so far.
16. Convert 365 Days of Elysha into a book.
I’ve passed this project onto my production manager, but she’s busy with other things at the moment.
17. Read at least 12 books.
I read Corey Feldman’s memoir “Coreyography” in April. This brings my total number of books read to 7.
I’m currently reading three books:
“Telephone” by Percival Everett
“Think Like a Monk” by Jay Shetty
“Index: A History Of The” by Dennis Duncan
My list of completed books now includes:
“The Passion Economy”
“Empire of Pain”
“The Anthropocene Reviewed”
“Liar’s Poker”
“Matrix”
“Coreyography”
18. Write to at least six authors about a book that I especially like.
Letters written to Stephen King and Michael Lewis in April.
Two letters so far.
STORYTELLING/SPEAKING CAREER
19. Complete the recordings for my new business for at least two target consumers.
Recording for the first set of target consumers (corporate folk) is nearly done. I need to re-record a couple modules and fill in some gaps, but the work is on the precipice of completion.
Once we launch, I will begin recording videos for our next target customer.
I’m also purchasing a whisper room, which is a pre-fab recording studio for the basement. This will eliminate my struggles with the noise and interruptions of children, the wind, the neighbor’s dog, our cats, and doorbells.
20. Engage with LinkedIn at least once per week.
Success, though still fairly easy. I received more than a dozen direct messages in April and responded to each of them.
I also updated my LinkedIn profile and even posted twice on the platform.
21. Produce a total of 6 Speak Up storytelling events.
We produced a virtual show in March in collaboration with my school on March 19. This was our first of the year.
My book launch event – featuring lots of storytelling – will take place on June 17.
We have a live, outdoor show scheduled on July 13 in partnership with the Hill-stead Museum.
I’ll be producing a show in conjunction with a storytelling weekend workshop at The Mount on July 15-17.
I may be producing a show in conjunction with a storytelling weekend workshop at Copper Beech Institute on October 28-30.
Our annual Voices of Hope show is scheduled for November 6.
We’ll be scheduling additional shows soon. Venues are ready, willing, and anxious for us to return.
22. Pitch myself to at least 3 upcoming TEDx events with the hopes of being accepted by one.
I pitched to a total of five TEDx conferences in April.
I also spoke at TEDxCornell in April. Video will be available in a couple months.
23. Attend at least 6 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.
I attended two Moth StorySLAMs (NYC and Boston) and one Moth GrandSLAM in April.
Five Moth events so far in 2022.
24. Win at least one Moth StorySLAM.
DONE! I won the February StorySLAM in New York.
25. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.
Done! I won Boston’s Moth GrandSLAM at The Wilbur on April 26. It was my eighth GrandSLAM championship.
I’ll be competing in New York City’s Moth GrandSLAM in May.
26. Produce at least 12 episodes of our podcast Speak Up Storytelling.
Recording was going to commence in February and March. The recording of the audiobook of “Someday Is Today” instead replaced our podcasting time for a while.
Recording was going to commence in April, but recording for other things filled that time.
May! We’ll record in May! I hope.
27. Convert my YouTube channel into an actual channel.
Progress! My production manager has begun to structure and re-design the channel, and I’ve been accumulating content for release. I’m also been curating the content, removing material that is no longer relevant.
Almost ready to declare this goal complete.
28. Perform stand-up at least 3 times in 2022.
I have a list of open mics that are currently running in Connecticut. More than enough to resume. This will likely be a summer goal.
29. Pitch a story to This American Life.
Done! I pitched one story to This American Life in April.
30. Pitch myself to Marc Maron’s WTF podcast at least three times.
One pitch made in April. The first in 2022.
No response.
31. Send a newsletter to readers at least 25 times (every other week).
Three newsletters sent in April. A total of 10 sent so far in 2022. Ahead of schedule.
HOME
32. Clear the basement.
The job is about 80% complete. Huge progress. The basement is officially organized. I need to eliminate many, many things from the basement now, which may require a dumpster. Or perhaps simply placing them on the front yard and waiting for folks to take them.
Summertime chore.
33. Organize the children’s books.
Books have been removed from the kids’ bedrooms and remain divided into three bins:
- Keep in rotation for kids/students
- Store for future grandchildren
- Give away to those in need
I’ve been slowly emptying the giveaway bin. Progress is solid.
FAMILY/FRIENDS
34. Text or call brother or sister once per month.
Done.
35. Take at least one photo of my children every day.
Done.
36. Take at least one photo with Elysha and myself each week.
No photos taken of just Elysha and me in January, February, March, or April.
I’m still a giant failure, particularly given that Elysha is so damn pretty.
A friend gave me a solution to this problem which is excellent. I have yet to actually do it.
37. Plan a reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.
No progress.
38. I will not comment, positively or negatively, about physical appearance of any person save my wife and children, in 2022 in an effort to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall.
Done. I learned that two of my students have now adopted this policy.
39. Compliment one person every day on a topic unrelated to physical appearance.
This turns out to be easier than I thought, at least as long as I’m teaching. I constantly give my students positive feedback, and I compliment my own children and Elysha quite a bit.
In addition to these compliments, I also complimented a friend, several colleagues, a server, a restaurant owner, a client, and many storytellers at Moth StorySLAMs and the GrandSLAM.
40. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2022.
Done!
Four surprises in April.
- I left a card on her dashboard following a less than ideal April vacation.
- I made a surprise visit to her classroom on an especially challenging day to bring her a cupcake.
- I mailed a card to her school with thoughts of encouragement and love, written by “The Universe.”
- I planned a weekend getaway (later this summer) for her and a friend to Water’s Edge, a resort and spa on the coast of Connecticut.
Surprises in 2022 also include:
- A well timed Starbucks caramel macchiato
- The latest Pusheen Club box, filled with an assortment of movie-themed Pusheen gifts.
- A complete set of Smith College china
That’s seven surprises so far in 2022.
41. Play poker at least six times in 2022.
Two games in total in 2022. I was invited to a game in Boston but could not make it.
42. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 30 years.
No progress. We planned to get together yesterday but life conspired against us.
NEW PROJECTS
43. Create an emergency preparedness kit for each car.
No progress.
44. Memorize the lyrics to at least 5 favorite songs.
I’m still working on “Come on Eileen” by Dexy’s Midnight Runners and Queen’s “Fat Bottomed Girls.” Ridiculous, I know.
45. Learn to play the piano by practicing at least three times a week.
Done.
46. Convert our wedding video to a transferable format.
Another task passed off to my production manager, who has been working on it.
47. Memorize 5 new poems.
I considered memorizing “Casey at the Bat” or “The Charge of the Light Brigade,” and I may still try one or both, but they are long, and I wanted one a little shorter to start, so I’m still working on “I’m Nobody! Who Are You?” by Emily Dickinson.
I also made a list of poems that I’ve committed to memory, to ensure they remain committed to memory through occasional practice.
48. Write to at least 3 colleges about why they should hire me.
No progress.
49. Understand Instagram better.
Progress! My intern and I has a conversation, where she taught me about Instagram Stories and Reels. Huzzah!
I suspect that there is more to know, but who better to teach me than a high school senior?
50. Complete my Eagle Scout project.
I started plotting the completion of this task in February. I’m considering moving the project from Blackstone, MA to something more local, but I’m still working on it.
51. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog and social media on the first day of every month.
Done.
