I have a loyalty card form Dick’s Sporting Goods, called a Score Card, but I never use the physical card when making purchases. I don’t even carry it with me.
Instead, I tell the cashier that I have a card, but it’s attached to my other ring of keys.
I do this because of the next words spoken by the cashier every time:
“No problem. What’s your last name?”
“Dicks,” I reply.
The responses I receive are magic.
Sometimes the cashier pauses, hands hovering over the keys, internal processors attempting to compute.
Other times they think I’ve misheard them. “No,” they say. “I need your last name,” sometimes sounding annoyed and sometimes slowing down their speech, apparently thinking I’m confused.
Another common response is simply, “What?” After I repeat myself, there is oftentimes a pregnant pause, and sometimes, I get, “No, I need your last name,” leading us into another loop of confusion.
Either way, I can’t wait for the moment when I get to say “Dicks” and watch the cashier’s reaction. It’s always so damn entertaining.
It’s the little things, people, that can oftentimes spark so much joy.
