Every Christmas, I take inventory of the holiday gifts that my wife gives me.
Some people wish for cashmere sweaters, the latest gadget, stylish watches, and jewelry. My hope is often for the least pretentious, most unexpected, quirkiest little gift possible, and she never fails to deliver.
When it comes to gift giving, Elysha is brilliant.
For the past ten years, I’ve been documenting the gifts that sh has given me on Christmas because they are so damn good. Every year has been just as good as the last, if not better.
- The 2009 Christmas haul included a signed edition of a Kurt Vonnegut novel.
- The 2010 Christmas haul included a key that I still use today.
- The 2011 Christmas haul included my often-used Mr. T in a Pocket.
- The 2012 Christmas haul included my fabulous No button.
- The 2013 Christmas haul included a remote controlled helicopter.
- The 2014 Christmas haul included an “I Told You So” pad.
- The 2015 Christmas haul included schadenfreude mints: “As delicious as other people’s misery.”
- The 2016 haul featured a commissioned painting of the map of my childhood Boy Scout camp.
- The 2017 haul featured a commissioned painting of my grandparent’s farmhouse.
- My 2019 haul featured a Viewmaster Viewer with slides containing photos of our family.
This year was no different. Elysha was just as good.
My gifts this year included:
- An incredible, perfect, highly recommended children’s picture book entitled “Ralph Tells a Story” by Abby Hanlon which reflects my personal philosophy of storytelling with almost absolute exactitude
- A specially designed travel case for the 9,000 cables and cords that I carry with me at all times
- A duffel bag that zippers into a tiny pouch for travel
- BB-8 mints
- Megaphone voice changer
- Lightsaber key change (that lights up!)
- Personalized stationary
- Paper tantrum post-its
- Star Wars Han Solo/Princess Leia pins (“I love you” and “I know”)
- Kurt Vonnegut magnet
- Titanium wireless bone conduction headphones
- An Earraser (an eraser shaped like a human ear)
- Shakespearean insult calendar
- Aggressive “Deal with this” post-its
Fantastic as always.