Imposter syndrome

Imposter syndrome is the feeling of uncertainty and inadequacy that a person feels despite obvious evidence of competence or success.

The result of imposter syndrome, among other things, is often a lack of self confidence, and I am convinced that one of the biggest obstacles to success for many, many people is a lack of self confidence. Whether it’s a fifth grader who is afraid to make a mistake or a grown-ass adult who is afraid to take a risk, the absence of self confidence can impede, delay, or forever halt a person from making their dreams come true.

But I come to you with good news. There is a solution to imposter syndrome:

Accept the fact that you’re an imposter.

We all are.

No one knows what the hell they’re doing. We’re making it up as we go along.

I’ve published six novels and a book of nonfiction over the course of the last 12 years, and I still don’t know what I’m doing. I’m still making it up as I go along. I’m still feel as fake as I did in 2009 when I published my first book.

I’ve told hundreds of stories on stages all over the world. I’ve won many, many storytelling championships. Corporations, nonprofits, universities, religious institutions, and people from all over the world pay me to teach them to tell better stories. But when I take the stage to tell a story, I still feel like an imposter. I’m still making it up every damn night.

It’s important to remember that everyone is winging it all the damn time. It’s important to remember that you – under-confident, self-conscious, frightened you– has just as much to contribute to the world as anyone else.

The only reason you can’t hear other people’s self doubt is because you aren’t a mind reader. Their inner monologues are filled with fear, uncertainty, and insecurity. You just can’t get inside to hear it.

There are two kinds of people in this world:

Imposters who are afraid of being imposters (and are often paralyzed as a result) and imposters who have accepted that they are imposters and have pressed on.

The late, great Carrie Fisher once said:

“Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow.”

Few things will help you realize your goals more than self confidence. The undeniable belief that you are immensely capable and that what you have to offer is good.

But please don’t confuse self confidence with an absence of doubt and fear. Doubt and fear still linger with even the most confident people. The best in their business still suffer from imposter syndrome. They have simply decided to accept all this and carry on. Proceed. Plow forward, around and through those feelings that might otherwise stall them.

So often in life, we feel like we are the only one feeling a certain way. We often look at successful people and assume that they possess something special and unique.

None of this is true.

You have just as much to contribute to the world as anyone else.

Get your ass in gear.

If you already have, congratulations. Carrie Fisher would approve.