Archive for December 2014
Kolf: Golf played on ice. And yes, we’re going to play it.
A friend sent me this pen and ink drawing from circa 1620 by the artist Hendrick Avercamp and purchased by King George III. It’s kolf. Golf on ice. Which, of course, is amazing. There’s actually some scholarship on the rise and fall of the kolf (and it’s sister sport, colf), which was apparently (and stupidly)…
Read MoreThe Boy Scouts encourages rank advancement by making the first three ranks embarrassing and pathetic.
I’ve said many times that Boy Scouts was one of the best things that ever happened to me. The education that I received in Scouting probably contributed more to the person I am today than the entirety of my high school experience. As a result, I don’t have too many bad things to say about…
Read MorePineapples once were popular party accessories. And not for eating.
Did you know that pineapples were such a status symbol in 18th century England that you could rent one for the evening to take to a party? This is also the reason there are pineapples atop some many trophies, such as Wimbledon men’s singles trophy. People in 18th century England were very stupid.
Read MoreMy friends are dullards by comparison.
When I see something like this, it makes me feel bad that my friends and I don’t possess similarly witty repartee. Why can’t my friends be more like Winston Churchill or George Bernard Shaw? Is that asking too much?
Read MoreTiny windows hurt my heart.
The first snowfall of the year took place on November 29. It was enough snow for my kids to run outside and build a snowman. Other than lifting the middle section atop the bottom section, Clara built the snowman herself, and she and Charlie affixed the eyes, nose, mouth, and other parts completely on their…
Read MoreI have 15 jobs. So you probably require my services in one way or another.
As the New Year approaches and the endless possibilities of the coming year loom on the horizon, I always like to take a moment and reset my current occupational status, in the event that you or someone you know will require my services in 2015. While occupations like teacher and writer seem like fairly obvious…
Read MoreCruelty is a sign of true friendship
A friend sent this to me. After some thought, I came to the conclusion that this is absolutely true in every way. My closest and best friends are the people to whom I say the worst things.
Read MoreMy 15 dead friends (potentially)
I’m once again in the process of revising my Friendship Application. As I’ve debated new categories to add to my list and the revision of others, I’ve begun to wonder about who I might have befriended from the days of yore. In short, what dead men and women I would have wanted as friends. So…
Read MoreThese 8 minutes of amateur video are better than any show on television.
Thinking about watching another episode of The Big Bang Theory tonight? Or one of those acronym shows? NCIS? SVU? CSI? Don’t. They’re all kind of stupid, I’m sure. It’s true. I’m judging television shows that I’ve never actually seen before, but at the very least they’re formulaic. It won’t kill you to miss one.…
Read MoreGood news and not bad news regarding my idea for an MRI boutique
I had a brilliant idea: An MRI boutique. Get preventively scanned at your leisure. As often as you’d like. Monthly if you think it’s necessary. Then a kind reader pointed out that this business model already exists. At least one does. In Orange, California. The building is more modern than I had envisioned, but they…
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