So many directions. Kind of.

On Saturday, for his eighth birthday, Charlie received an Iron Man gauntlet containing all six Infinity stones.

He’s been snapping me out of existence ever since.

Six, by the way, is a strange number. Don’t you think? Five and seven make perfect sense. ThEse are numbers associated with power. Three makes sense, too, though three probably weren’t enough stones to carry the Marvel franchise.

But six? Six is not a number associated with power. You can’t even find an especially historic baseball player who wore the number six. Remove one Infinity stone from the bunch and Marvel could’ve had a more rationale five Infinity stones.

One for each digit on the hand.

More importantly, they also could’ve eliminated that stupid, ham-handed, nonsensical Vision character entirely. Maybe even eliminate the whole Age of Ultron movie, which was clearly the low point in the franchise.

But I digress…

After opening the hardened plastic shell surrounding Charlie’s Iron Man gauntlet – which required a drill press, a bone saw, and three hours of labor – I pulled out the directions.

They were surprisingly long. As far as I could tell, this toy was a piece of plastic with a single button. Why so many directions?

Then I looked a little closer. It turns out they weren’t as long as I initially thought.

Direction #1 says, “Press button for lights and sounds.”

Then the same direction is repeated in 25 other languages.

I think I had as much fun staring at this list of direction as Charlie has had snapping me out of existence.