The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest no more

Tragedy strikes.

The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest has come to an end after more than 40 years.

Founded in 1982 at San Jose State University in California, the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest challenged entrants to compose an opening sentence to the worst possible novel.

The BLFC was the brainchild of Professor Scott Rice. Assigned to write a seminar paper on a minor Victorian novelist, he chose Edward George Bulwer-Lytton.

His novel “Paul Clifford” begins with the famous opener that has been plagiarized repeatedly by the cartoon beagle, Snoopy.

“It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents—except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.”

After reading this opening line, Professor Rice was inspired, and the contest began.

After retiring from teaching in 2014, the contest continued as a labor of love for Dr. Rice and his daughter, E.J., for another ten years before they decided to end it this year. 
Over the years, the contest has received worldwide attention from media outlets like The New York Times, NPR, and People magazine, among many others, which makes it surprising to me that Dr. Rice couldn’t find someone to take over the contest on his behalf and his daughter’s.
It seems like something a word nerd or bookish sort would love to continue.
I entered the contest several times, beginning in college, but sadly, my first sentences were never terrible enough to win. I haven’t entered the competition in more than a decade, so sadly, my previous entries are lost in my digital clutter.
A few of my favorite winners over the years included these gems:

2022 Grand Prize

I knew she was trouble the second she walked into my 24-hour deli, laundromat, and detective agency, and after dropping a load of unmentionables in one of the heavy-duty machines (a mistake that would soon turn deadly) she turned to me, asking for two things: find her missing husband and make her a salami on rye with spicy mustard, breaking into tears when I told her I couldn’t help—I was fresh out of salami.

John Farmer, Aurora, CO

2011 Grand Prize

Cheryl’s mind turned like the vanes of a wind-powered turbine, chopping her sparrow-like thoughts into bloody pieces that fell onto a growing pile of forgotten memories.

Sue Fondrie, Oshkosh, WI

And my all-time favorite:

2015 Grand Prize

Seeing how the victim’s body, or what remained of it, was wedged between the grill of the Peterbilt 389 and the bumper of the 2008 Cadillac Escalade EXT, officer “Dirk” Dirksen wondered why reporters always used the phrase “sandwiched” to describe such a scene since there was nothing appetizing about it, but still, he thought, they might have a point because some of this would probably end up on the front of his shirt.

Joel Phillips, West Trenton, NJ

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