A new survey of Americans’ romantic experiences found that:
- 70 percent of participants have had an unrequited crush
- 53 percent have been cheated on
- 47 percent have had a long-distance relationship
- 38 percent have gotten back together with an ex
- 33 percent have cheated on someone
- 19 percent have been in a love triangle.
- 9 percent of respondents said they had been in a polyamorous or open relationship at some point.
Some of these numbers astound me.
First, and somewhat unbelievable:
Seventy percent of Americans have experienced an unrequited crush, meaning that 30 percent have never had a crush on someone who didn’t like them back?
Have they forgotten high school?
Or life?
Not a single unrequited crush? Ever?
I suspect that 30 percent of Americans are either liars or victims of a traumatic brain injury.
As for the rest of the data, I fit neatly into nearly all categories but had wrongheadedly assumed that almost everyone did as well.
However, this is clearly not the case, given that all the percentages are 53% or less.
I couldn’t believe it.
Like 53 percent of Americans, a girlfriend has cheated on me, and like 33 percent of Americans,, I have cheated on at least one girlfriend, too. All of these things took place when I was in my late teens and early twenties, when many of us (and most of my friends at the time) were immature, stupid monsters.
Like 47 percent of Americans, I, too, had a long-distance relationship with a girlfriend when she left for college, which led, of course, to cheating.
Like 38 percent of Americans, I’ve gotten back together with an ex-girlfriend at least twice in my life, and both times, it led to a successful, happy second relationship that ended amicably and on good terms.
I wasn’t sure what a love triangle was, but according to the dictionary, it’s “a romantic relationship scenario involving three people, typically two competing for the affection of the third. It often leads to emotional turmoil, conflict, and a need to choose between competing interests.”
If that’s the correct definition, then yes, like 19 percent of Americans, I’ve experienced this a handful of times in my life, both as the pursuer and the pursued.
Based on experience, the role of the person being pursued is often far superior to that of the pursuer.
I’ve never been in a poly or open relationship, but I had opportunities to do so and passed.
Of the 80 percent of Americans who said they probably or definitely wouldn’t consider polyamory, the most common reasons cited were:
- Moral opposition (50 percent)
- Lack of interest (50 percent)
- Jealousy (34 percent)
- Lack of emotional capacity (14 percent)
My reason was much simpler:
It sounded like a lot of fun, but I’m a minimalist and a productivity nerd. I’ve always had a lot of ambition and a lot to get done.
I couldn’t imagine finding the time to make two relationships work.
But other than experiencing unrequited crushes and having been cheated on, I am apparently in the minority of Americans in all other categories, which I still cannot believe.
You move through life thinking that everyone has lived a life similar to your own, only to find out that most people’s lives, at least when it comes to romance, are nothing like yours.
