Every month, I record my progress toward my yearly goals to hold myself accountable and, occasionally, seek help and advice from readers willing to offer insight, ideas, and solutions.
Here are my results from September 2026.
PERSONAL FITNESS/ATHLETICS
1. Don’t die.
Still feeling great.
I remain vitamin D deficient but am currently on a high-dose vitamin D supplement.
Apparently most of us in the Northeast suffer from this deficiency. Not enough sun, even for me, who spends loads of time outdoors, playing golf, rucking, and biking.
My shoulder remains sore, but it’s from playing a lot of golf, so it’s pain well earned.
I’ll live forever or die trying.
2. Lose 10 pounds.
Done!
Held steady in September. Nothing lost, and nothing gained.
I’ve lost a total of 21 pounds in 2026 so far.
3. Do a targeted push-up workout at least three times per week.
My sore shoulder has altered my usual workout and reduced my daily push-ups, but I still got the job done.
A total of 14 days of push-ups in September.
4. Complete 100 sit-ups three times per week.
Done.
Also 14 days of sit-ups in September.
5. Cycle or ruck for at least five days every week.
I rode my bike — outdoors or indoors — on 28 days in September.
I also went rucking on six days in September.
Crushed the month.
6. Try at least three new vegetables I have never eaten before or do not like.
Done!
I tried jicama, arugula, and zucchini in 2026.
I’m happy to overachieve in this category if anyone has a suggestion.
7. Average 2.1 putts per hole by the end of 2026.
Improvement from August to September. Current average putts per hole through September is 1.807.
That’s an average of 32.52 putts per 18 holes.
8. Average 180 yards per drive by the end of 2026.
Progress! Excluding shots directly into the trees, I averaged 167 yards per drive in September.
I’m consistently hitting range balls 190 yards and farther, too, and when I hit the fairway and get a roll, my tee shots often approach 200 yards.
I’m unlikely to have enough time in the season to average 180 yards for a month, given I have one or two months left to play, but the improvement is real and consistent.
WRITING CAREER
9. Complete my ninth novel.
Work continues.
10. Write, edit, and revise my golf memoir.
Work has begun on the revision.
11. Write a proposal for my next storytelling book.
Done.
12. Write a proposal for my Substack memoir about the summer of 2007 that can be pitched to editors.
My agent doesn’t think it will sell. Will I need to convince her otherwise? Or maybe self-publish?
13. Exceed 100 paid subscribers to my Substack.
I added four paid subscribers in September for a total of 44.
I also have 4,754 unpaid subscribers. That’s a decrease of 23 in September.
14. Read and process The Heavy Metal Playhouse notebook.
Work has begun. It’s been joyous. I’ve been writing about the progress on this blog.
15. Write my “Advice for Kids” book.
Progress continues.
16. Find an idea and begin writing my next middle-grade novel.
Done. I identified the idea and began writing.
17. Revise at least two of the picture books in my pile of unpublished picture books and prepare for submission.
No progress.
18. Write/complete at least three new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist.
Lots of new ideas.
No writing yet.
19. Explore the possibilities for publishing “The Gimme Tree” — my satirical take on “The Giving Tree.”
After determining that no publisher wants my book, we have begun looking into self-publishing options.
Sadly, the two people whom I trust most don’t love the book, either.
I need to send it to a few more people for thoughts.
20. Write about my childhood in partnership with my sister, Kelli, at least once per month.
Kelli and I have begun exchanging texts about childhood memories. I need to formalize this on some platform and build consistency.
21. Write a new solo show.
Topic and story chosen. Work in my head has begun. Since I never write my shows on paper, this represents real work.
22. Submit at least three Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.
A piece was published on the front page of The New York Times in February about backing into parking spots, for which I was interviewed and mentioned often.
I count this as one submission in 2026.
23. Write at least four letters to my father.
No letters sent in September.
One so far in 2026.
24. Write 150 letters.
Done!
I wrote two letters in September:
One to a friend, with many kind words.
Another to Steve Schmidt, the Senator from Missouri who face-planted while attempting to catch Jack Smith in a “Gotcha” moment this week. I wanted to let him know how weak, stupid, and pathetic he appeared during that hearing and how many millions of times that moment has been viewed by the American public.
I included a small rainbow flag in the envelope, too, because based upon his public positions and statements related to same sex marriage and workplace discrimination, he’s a bigot.
I’ve written 204 letters so far this year.
25. Write to at least six authors about a book I love.
No author letters in September.
I’ve written to three authors in 2026:
Children’s author Mac Barnett
Comic and memoirist Jimmy Carr (my hero)
Lindsey Kraft, writer and performer of the one-woman show “We’ve Been Here Before”
STORYTELLING/SPEAKING CAREER
26. Record and publish at least 25 videos on my YouTube channel.
Done!
No videos were published in September, but we are back on track for October.
We posted 26 videos in 2026.
And for the last four months, YouTube has been generating income.
Huzzah.
27. Record and produce at least one new Storyworthy course.
No progress.
28. Produce a total of six Speak Up storytelling events in 2026.
We produced our first show of 2026 on January 31 at the Connecticut Museum of Culture and History.
We produced our second show on May 9 at the Connecticut Museum of Culture and History.
We produced another edition of “Matt and Jeni Are Unprepared” on July 11 at the Merryall Center in New Milford, CT.
We also have shows scheduled for October 3, 17, and 24, and December 5 and 13. Save the dates!
29. Submit pitches to at least three upcoming TEDx events, hoping to be accepted by one.
Done!
I submitted a pitch to TEDx Charleston, and it was accepted. I did that talk in April.
Huzzah.
30. Attend at least eight Moth events with the intention of telling a story.
Done!
I attended two more Moth StorySLAMS in September—both in NYC.
A total of 11 so far in 2026.
31. Win at least one Moth StorySLAM.
Done!
I won a Moth StorySLAM in San Francisco, making it the fifth city in which I have won a StorySLAM.
Previous cities include New York, Boston, Seattle, and Washington, D.C.
I also won in NYC in September, bringing my total number of wins to 65.
32. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.
No progress. I had to decline an invitation to a Boston GrandSLAM because I was already booked, so I’m waiting for the next one.
33. Pitch “You’re a Monster, Matthew Dicks” or “Shovel” or my new show to at least six theaters in 2026.
Done!
In September, I applied to the Orlando Fringe Festival.
I also pitched “Shovel” to nine theaters so far in 2026, including:
The Hartford Stage
The GoodSpeed Opera House
The Seven Angels Theater
Blackfriars Theatre
CenterStage Theatre at the JCC
The Focus Theater
The Duke at The Mercantile on Main
Arial Arena
JCC Ballroom
I’ll apply to additional Fringe Festivals in October when the application period opens.
34. Produce at least 24 episodes of our podcast, Speak Up Storytelling.
No progress.
35. Perform stand-up at least six times.
I performed stand-up in the library in Monterey, MA, on January 30.
I performed stand-up in Orlando, Florida, while stuck because of a snowstorm.
I performed stand-up at an open mic in Victoria, Canada, while attending a conference.
Three performances thus far in 2026.
36. Pitch three stories to This American Life.
No progress.
HOME
37. Organize the basement.
No progress.
38. Replace the floor in my office.
Flooring is chosen and paid for. We are exploring adding radiant heat before scheduling installation.
FAMILY/FRIENDS
39. Text or call my brother or sister once per month.
I texted my sister in September.
40. Bring my brother, sister, and me together at least once in 2026.
Done! We visited Southwick’s Zoo together in September.
41. Take at least one photo of my children every day.
Done. But my children have reached an age when taking their photograph is mostly fine, but posting those photos on the Internet is no longer fine, so I can’t offer a lot of visual evidence of these photos, but here are a few:
42. Take at least one photo with Elysha and me each week.
Only one photo of me and Elysha in September, taken by Charlie:
43. Plan a reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.
Done!
After losing a friend and former HMP member, I finally took action. Our reunion is scheduled for February 21, 2027.
44. I will not comment positively or negatively on the physical appearance of anyone except my wife and children to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall.
Done. Simple and automatic now.
45. Surprise Elysha at least 12 times.
Done!
Five surprises for Elysha in September:
- I surprised Elysha by having chicken stew ready on the stove for dinner, only needing to be heated, on an evening when I was away.
- I surprised Elysha again by having dinner cooked and ready when she got home from work, after I’d already left for the evening.
- I surprised Elysha by having new garage door openers installed — something she mentioned wanting three months ago.
- I left a gift bag of goodies on Elysha’s front seat before leaving for the airport for a gig in North Carolina.
- I returned home a day early from North Carolina without telling her and appeared at the doorstep last night.
A total of 23 surprises so far in 2026.
The list:
- I sent flowers to her school on her birthday.
- I delivered pastries to her school for her team to share.
- I sent flowers on Valentine’s Day.
- I planned a weekend getaway for August.
- I planned an anniversary surprise that couldn’t happen.
- I planned a surprise vacation to NYC.
- I sent flowers on the Friday before Mother’s Day.
- I gifted three weekends of spa treatments for Mother’s Day.
- I arrived in her classroom with books and Clara.
- I brought Elysha and her friend Pellegrino and pastries
- I brought Elysha into Boston for dinner with friends
- I bought Olivia Rodrigo tickets for Elysha and Clara
- I planned a wonderful anniversary evening that did not happen
- I bought tickets to “The Lost Boys on Broadway”
- I made a surprise appearance at the beach when I was supposed to be in NYC
- I gifted her a roller bag filled with presents for the first day of school
- I sent flowers on the first day of school.
- A gifted her a book
- Dinner ready on the stove
- Dinner ready on the stove
- Garage door openers installed
- Goodie bag on her front seat
- Returned home a day early to surprise her.
46. Play poker at least six times.
The September game was canceled due to a lack of players. A November game is planned.
But I played poker with Charlie while the ladies were attending an Olivia Rodrigo concert. He beat me. He’s been playing poker after school at the teen center in the public library.
We also watched the movie “Tommy Boy.” We laughed a lot.
Five poker games so far in 2026.
47. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 30 years.
Done!
I had dinner with Bengi twice in September, talking, eating, and plotting our next business venture.
That brings our total to seven in 2026.
MUSIC
48. Memorize the lyrics to at least five favorite songs.
I’ve decided to memorize the lyrics to Fleetwood Mac’s “Rumors.” I know many of them already, but I don’t know them all, and I don’t know any songs entirely. But my musically wise children love this album, so listening to it should be easy.
49. Practice the flute at least four times per week.
No progress.
MISCELLANEOUS PROJECTS
50. Host at least one dinner party where I cook.
No progress.
51. Develop a course on self-confidence.
I moved up my loneliness workshop for November and December, so I’ll create curriculum for this course in September and October.
52. Develop a list of strategies to help people deal with loneliness and produce it in some form.
Done!
I developed the curriculum, designed the course, and have scheduled a six-session series of workshops in November and December for volunteers who are willing to test out my methods,
53. Read at least 12 books.
Done!
In September, I read:
“A Course Called Home” by Tom Coyne
“Make Believe” by Mac Barnett
“The War of Art” by Steven Pressfield
“How to Trust and Be Trusted” by Rachel Botsman
“Artemis” by Andy Weir
“Amoralman” by Derek Delguadio
I’m currently reading:
“Actually, Nevermind” by Taylor Tomlinson
I’ve read 21 books in 2026 thus far:
“Wizard and Glass” by Stephen King
“The Skyscraper Doom” by Norman Zierold
“The Dark Tower” by Stephen King
“Griffin and Sabine” by Nick Bantock
“Sabine’s Notebook” by Nick Bantock
“The Golden Mean” by Nick Bantock
“The Wind Through the Keyhole” by Stephen King
“Project Hail Mary” by Andy Weir
“This Is Strategy” by Seth Godin
“Regime Change” by Maggie Haberman and Jonathan Swan
“The Storyteller’s Secret” by Carine Gallo
“Before and Laughter” by Jimmy Carr
“The Land and Its People” by David Sedaris
“52 Sundays” by Robert Bolton
“Lies My Teacher Told Me” by James Loewen
“A Course Called Home” by Tom Coyne
“Make Believe” by Mac Barnett
“The War of Art” by Steven Pressfield
“How to Trust and Be Trusted” by Rachel Botsman
“Artemis” by Andy Weir
“Amoralman” by Derek Delguadio
54. Read “To the Lighthouse” by Virginia Woolf.
I purchased a beautiful copy of the book. I read the first six pages back in July
I made no progress in September, so I’ll probably need to read those first six pages again.
55. Read “The Skyscraper Doom” by Norman Zierold.
Done!
I read the book — the first book I ever checked out of a library — on a plane to Charleston, South Carolina.
I had fond memories of that book from reading it circa 1982.
It did not hold up. Not even close.
56. Finish reading TIME’s 100 Best Children’s Books of All Time.
No progress.
57. Edit our wedding footage into a movie of the day.
No progress.
58. Memorize three new poems.
I am memorizing “Oh me! Oh Life!” by Walt Whitman and am almost done.
I’m also making a list of all the poems I have memorized to reinforce them.
59. Explore the possibility of earning the rank of Eagle.
No progress.
60. Complete at least five Duolingo lessons every day.
Done. I far exceeded this goal, completing 240 lessons in September, for an average of about 8 per day.
61. Post my progress regarding these resolutions on this blog and social media on the first day of every month.
Done.
