PERSONAL FITNESS
1. Don’t die.
Charlie caught COVID, but I avoided it, so feeling fairly indestructible.
2. Lose 20 pounds.
I gained two pounds in September. Mostly thanks to an old-fashioned cold that kept me from exercising for almost a week.
Also a Patriots tailgate and some other large, wonderful meals.
Down just two pounds for the year.
3. Do at least 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and 3 one-minute planks for five days a week.
I missed almost a week of exercising while recovering from a cold. Otherwise, goal accomplished.
4. Cycle for at least 5 days every week.
I missed a week because of my cold, but I actually rode my bike for 19 days in September despite the lost days due to illness.
5. Establish my golfing handicap, then lower that handicap by at least 2.
Handicap established at the beginning of the year was a whopping 35.4.
Handicap is currently 23.3, down a stroke from August.
Not a great handicap, but still much lower than the beginning of the year, and my lessons continue.
WRITING CAREER
6. Complete my seventh novel.
“Someday is Today” is in bookstores now. Have you purchased your copy yet? Downloaded your audiobook? Both?
I’m well on my way to finishing the revision of my middle-grade novel. I’ve also started working on my next adult novel in earnest.
Between the middle-grade novel and the new adult novel, one should be completed by the end of the year, I hope.
7. Prepare “Storyworthy 2” or update “Storyworthy” or both for a potential sale.
DONE! The follow-up to “Storyworthy” – “You Are Storyworthy” – won’t be my next nonfiction title, even though it’s written. I’ll be writing a different storytelling book first for strategic reasons.
Still, the book is done and will be published eventually.
8. Write/complete at least three new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist, and one protagonist who is not neurotypical.
I’m in the middle of a new picture book entitled “Hug a Fish.” It features a female, non-white protagonist.
I’m also working on a partially written manuscript from 2021 entitled “Who Put the Baby in a Tree?”
After some discussion with my agent, I have two other picture books to write, but a book that Elysha suggested. All are in various states of incompletion.
I’ve started writing in school as a means of sharing writing and the process with my students.
9. Complete a memoir.
I have two memoirs in progress:
One about the two-year period when I was arrested, jailed, and tried for a crime I did not commit, which also led to homelessness then a pantry off a kitchen that I shared with a goat. I was also the victim of a horrific robbery at that time that left me with a lifetime of PTSD amongst other awfulness.
Also participation in an underground arm wrestling and gambling ring.
The second is about the two-year period in which a lowly band of anonymous cowards attempted to destroy my teaching career.
My agent and I have decided that I’ll pursue the second one first. The recent attacks on education, combined with the rise of cancel culture, make it unfortunately timely and likely of interest to publishers.
10. Write a new screenplay.
I spoke to my writing partner, who has been derailed from our project by several other projects. We hope to resume writing soon.
11. Write a solo show.
I’m working on a solo show based on my arrest and trial for a crime I didn’t commit, but I have another idea:
List all the things I’ve ever stolen on a chalkboard and then tell a story about each one. Cleverly construct a narrative that encompasses all the stories.
12. Write a musical.
Outline completed. We’ll be using my memoir as a basis for the show, and Kaia, my partner, is writing music, but we have yet to really sit down and work.
13. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.
DONE!
Another piece was submitted in September. Still awaiting word.
Seven essays submitted so far to the New York Times in 2022.
14. Write at least four letters to my father.
The first letter was mailed in August.
15. Write 100 letters in 2022.
DONE! A total of 17 letters were written in September, including letters to students, friends, a superintendent, a letter of recommendation, and Governors Ron DeSantis and Greg Abbott, informing them of their cruelty and stupidity.
A total of 150 letters written in 2022 so far.
16. Convert 365 Days of Elysha into a book.
I’ve passed this project on to my production manager, but she’s busy with other things at the moment.
17. Read at least 12 books.
DONE! I’ve read 23 books in 2022 so far.
I read the following books in September:
“Telephone” by Percival Everett
“I’d Like to Play Alone, Please” by Tom Segura
“Revolutionary Summer: The Birth of American Independence” by Joseph Ellis
I’m currently reading books:
“We Don’t Need Roads: The Making of the Back to the Future Trilogy” by Caseen Gaines
“Wow. No Thank You” by Samantha Irby
“Think Like a Monk” by Jay Shetty
“The Groucho Letters”
My list of completed books now includes:
“Telephone”
“I’d Like to Play Alone, Please”
“Revolutionary Summer: The Birth of American Independence”
“The Nineties”
“The Presentation Secrets of Steve Jobs”
“Nice Try”
“The World’s Worst Assistant”
“Adventures in the Screen Trade”
“I’ll Show Myself Out”
“How to Tell a Story”
“The Lightning Thief”
“Contagious”
“In the Great Green Room: The Brilliant and Bold Life of Margaret Wise Brown”
“It’s So Easy”
“Poetics”
“The Office BFFs”
“Making Numbers Count”
“The Passion Economy”
“Empire of Pain”
“The Anthropocene Reviewed”
“Liar’s Poker”
“Matrix”
“Coreyography”
18. Write to at least six authors about a book that I especially like.
No letters were written in September.
Three letters so far in 2022.
STORYTELLING/SPEAKING CAREER
19. Complete the recordings for my new business for at least two target consumers.
Recording for the first set of target consumers (corporate folk) is done!
I’ll ultimately need to re-record everything because I can see all the places for improvement, but for now, it’s done and is very good.
Just not excellent yet.
Once we launch, I will begin recording videos for our next target customer.
Also, my new basement office and recording studio are complete. My production manager added sound panels, and we now own a second camera that makes it simple to record solo. It’s making things a lot easier.
20. Engage with LinkedIn at least once per week.
Success! I received a ton of direct messages in September and responded to each of them.
21. Produce a total of 6 Speak Up storytelling events.
Five shows produced so far in 2022.
We produced a virtual show in collaboration with my school on March 19.
We produced a live, outdoor show in partnership with the Hill-stead Museum on July 13.
I produced two live storytelling shows at The Mount on July 16 and 17.
We produced my book launch event – including storytelling – on July 30.
We’ll be producing “Red Talks: Presented by Confessions of a Mensturator” on October 8.
I’ll also be producing a show in conjunction with a storytelling weekend workshop at Copper Beech Institute on October 28-30.
Our annual Voices of Hope show is scheduled for November 6.
22. Pitch myself to at least 3 upcoming TEDx events with the hopes of being accepted by one.
Done!
I pitched to a total of five TEDx conferences back in April.
One has passed on my pitch. One has asked me to expand upon my idea. Awaiting word from the other three.
I also spoke at TEDxCornell in April. The video will be available soon.
I’ve also helped three clients get accepted to TEDx conferences this year.
23. Attend at least 6 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.
DONE! I attended one Moth StorySLAM in September in Boston. My name was not pulled from the hat.
A total of 15 Moth events so far in 2022.
24. Win at least one Moth StorySLAM.
DONE! THREE TIMES!
I won a StorySLAM in New York in February.
I won a StorySLAM in Boston in June.
I won a Moth StorySLAM in Washington DC in August.
I’ve won three out of six StorySLAMs in 2022. A little below my average win rate but still not bad.
The next time I take the stage at a Moth StorySLAM will be my one-hundredth StorySLAM performance.
25. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.x
DONE! TWICE!
I won Boston’s Moth GrandSLAM at The Wilbur on April 26.
I won New York City’s Moth GrandSLAM at The Music Hall of Williamsburg on May 16.
It was my eighth and ninth GrandSLAM championships.
26. Produce at least 12 episodes of our podcast Speak Up Storytelling.
The recording was going to commence in February and March. The recording of the audiobook of “Someday Is Today” instead replaced our podcasting time for a while.
The recording was going to commence in April and then in May and then in June and then July then August then September, but recording for other things filled that time.
October. We’ll record in October.
27. Convert my YouTube channel into an actual channel.
More progress! My production manager has begun to structure and re-design the channel, and I’ve been accumulating content for release. I’ve also been curating the content, and I finished removing material that is no longer relevant.
My team is also launching a second YouTube channel for me for our new business, so I’m on the cusp of calling this one complete.
28. Perform stand-up at least 3 times in 2022.
I have a list of open mics that are currently running in Connecticut. More than enough to resume. I asked a friend to join me.
He doesn’t seem enthusiastic.
I’ll try to find the courage to get back on the stand-up stage.
29. Pitch a story to This American Life.
DONE! I pitched one story to This American Life in April.
30. Pitch myself to Marc Maron’s WTF podcast at least three times.
Done. Three pitches made in 2022.
No response.
31. Send a newsletter to readers at least 25 times (every other week).
One newsletter was sent in September. A total of 18 sent so far in 2022.
HOME
32. Clear the basement.
Still working through the mess made when the contractor built the studio. Organization is being worked on, but a considerable number of items need to be removed.
I’m making incremental progress.
33. Organize the children’s books.
DONE!
Books were removed from the kids’ bedrooms and divided into three bunches:
- Keep in rotation for kids/students (now been returned to shelves).
- Store for future grandchildren (now stored in the basement)
- Give away to those in need (now donated).
FAMILY/FRIENDS
34. Text or call brother or sister once per month.
Done.
35. Take at least one photo of my children every day.
Done.
36. Take at least one photo with Elysha and me each week.
Unless I count family photos (including Clara and Charlie), and I don’t, none in September.
37. Plan a reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.
A date has been chosen for August, but because of vacations, I will be rescheduled for the fall.
38. I will not comment, positively or negatively, about the physical appearance of any person save my wife and children, in 2022 in an effort to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall.
Done. Simple, smart, and right.
More than two dozen people have also begun adhering to this goal in 2022.
39. Compliment one person every day on a topic unrelated to physical appearance.
This turns out to be easier than I thought, at least as long as I’m teaching. I constantly give my students positive feedback, and I compliment my own children and Elysha quite a bit.
In addition to complimenting my students and family, I also spent September complimenting many clients, lots of friends on the golf course, at least three friends off the golf course, a handful of storytellers at a Moth event, and a bunch of my teaching colleagues.
This goal has proven to be a layup.
40. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2022.
DONE!
Three surprises in September:
- Tickets to Beetlejuice on Broadway for November
- Tickets to the CT Forum to see Sonia Sotomayor in November
- Cupcakes for our Labor Day “end of summer” dinner
Surprises in 2022 also include:
- A well-timed Starbucks caramel macchiato
- Pusheen Club box, filled with an assortment of movie-themed Pusheen gifts.
- A complete set of Smith College china
- A card on her dashboard following a less-than-ideal April vacation.
- A surprise visit to her classroom on an especially challenging day to bring her a cupcake.
- A card mailed to her school with thoughts of encouragement and love, written by “The Universe.”
- A planned weekend getaway (later this summer) for her and a friend to Water’s Edge, a resort and spa on the coast of Connecticut.
- Flowers on Mexican Mother’s Day
- Pusheen Club box, featuring garden-themed Pusheen gifts.
- A signed first edition of “From the Mixed-up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler” by E.L. Konigsburg
- Tickets to Hamilton on Broadway
- Pusheen Club box, featuring school-themed Pusheen gifts.
- A box of small gifts presented on the night before the first day of school
- Tickets to Beetlejuice on Broadway for November
- Tickets to the CT Forum to see Sonia Sotomayor in November
- Cupcakes for our Labor Day “end of summer” dinner
That’s 16 surprises so far in 2022.
41. Play poker at least six times in 2022.
Two games in total in 2022.
42. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 30 years.
Four days spent together so far in 2022.
NEW PROJECTS
43. Create an emergency preparedness kit for each car.
Done! Emergency preparedness kits purchased. I’ve also added several necessary items to each.
44. Memorize the lyrics to at least 5 favorite songs.
I’m still working on “Come a Little Closer” by Jay and the Americans.
Also “More Than a Feeling” by Boston and “Runaway” by Bon Jovi.
Songs I’ve memorized this year include:
“Fat Bottomed Girls
“Come On Eileen”
“Mr. Blue Sky”
“Come Sail Away”
45. Learn to play the piano by practicing at least three times a week.
Done.
46. Convert our wedding video to a transferable format.
Another task passed off to my production manager, who has been working on it. A lot trickier than expected.
47. Memorize 5 new poems.
Still working on “I’m Nobody! Who Are You?” by Emily Dickinson. I’m foolishly failing this goal.
I also made a list of poems that I’ve committed to memory, to ensure they remain committed to memory through occasional practice.
The list is great, but it’s not going to get these poems memorized any faster.
48. Write to at least 3 colleges about why they should hire me.
No progress.
49. Understand Instagram better.
Done! My social media team is now running parts of my Instagram, and I understand what they are doing, how they did it, and why they are doing it.
50. Complete my Eagle Scout project.
I started plotting the completion of this task in February. I’m considering moving the project from Blackstone, MA to something more local, but I’m still working on it.
A recent blog post on this subject garnered me many willing volunteers.
51. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog and social media on the first day of every month.
Done.
