Resolution update: June 2022
PERSONAL FITNESS
1. Don’t die.
Survived another month!
2. Lose 20 pounds.
I lost one pound in June. I’ve lost a whopping four pounds in 2022.
3. Do at least 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and 3 one-minute planks for five days a week.
Done. Finally getting easier.
4. Cycle for at least 5 days every week.
I rode the bike for at least 5 days per week in June, mostly on my actual bike and multiple rides on a single day for many days.
5. Establish my golfing handicap, then lower that handicap by at least 2.
Handicap established at the beginning of the year was a whopping 35.4.
I dropped it down another 3 points in June to 20.8, which is terrible but a lot lower than the start of the season.
Lessons scheduled for next week.
WRITING CAREER
6. Complete my seventh novel.
“Someday is Today” is in bookstores now. Have you purchased your copy yet? Downloaded your audiobook?
I’m well on my way to finishing the revision of my middle grade novel. I’ve also started working on my next adult novel in earnest.
I’ve also partnered with a friend on a new book.
Between the middle grade novel and the new adult novel, one should be completed by the end of the year, I hope.
7. Prepare “Storyworthy 2” or update “Storyworthy” or both for potential sale.
DONE! I have a decision to make in terms of which book to pitch next. It’s a frustratingly difficult decision.
8. Write/complete at least three new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist, and one protagonist who is not neurotypical.
I’m in the middle of a new picture book entitled “Hug a Fish.” I was creating the actual book alongside my students, who are also creating their own. It features a female, non-white protagonist.
I’m also working on a partially written manuscript from 2021 entitled “Who Put the Baby in a Tree?”
After some discussion with my agent, I have two other picture books write.
9. Complete a memoir.
I have two memoirs in progress:
One about the two year period when I was arrested, jailed, and tried for a crime I did not commit, which also led to homelessness then a pantry off a kitchen that I shared with a goat. I was also the victim of a horrific robbery at that time that left me with a lifetime of PTSD amongst other awfulness.
Also participation in an underground arm wrestling and gambling ring.
The second is about the two year period in which a lowly band of anonymous cowards attempted to destroy my teaching career.
I’m strategizing with my agent over which to write first. I sent one over to my agent today.
I wrote about 3,,000 words between the two manuscripts in June.
10. Write a new screenplay.
I spoke to my writing partner, who has been derailed from our project by several projects. We hope to resume writing soon.
I’ve also started a TV project with another writer.
11. Write a solo show.
I’m working on a solo show based upon my arrest and trial for a crime I didn’t commit, but I have another idea:
List all the things I’ve ever stolen on a chalkboard and then tell a story about each one. Cleverly construct a narrative that encompasses all the stories.
12. Write a musical.
Outline received from my writing partner, Kaia. We plan to work on the project this summer, using the memoir pages to inform the work.
13. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.
DONE!
One essay submitted to the New York Times in June for consideration. Rejected.
Five essays submitted so far to the New York Times in 2022.
14. Write at least four letters to my father.
First letter started.
15. Write 100 letters in 2022.
A total of 14 letters written in June, including letters to students, a business, a Catholic bishop, and the Pope.
A total of 87 letters written in 2022 so far.
16. Convert 365 Days of Elysha into a book.
I’ve passed this project onto my production manager, but she’s busy with other things at the moment.
17. Read at least 12 books.
DONE! I’ve read 12 books in 2022.
I read the following books in June:
“In the Great Green Room: The Brilliant and Bold Life of Margaret Wise Brown” by Amy Gary
“It’s So Easy” by Duff McKagen
“Contagious” by Jonah Berger
I’m currently reading six books:
“Telephone” by Percival Everett
“Think Like a Monk” by Jay Shetty
“Index: A History Of The” by Dennis Duncan
“The Areas of My Expertise” by John Hodgman
“The Groucho Letters”
“Adventures in the Screen Trade” by William Goldman
I may abandon one or more of these books because I am not enjoying them.
My list of completed books now includes:
“Contagious”
“In the Great Green Room: The Brilliant and Bold Life of Margaret Wise Brown”
“It’s So Easy”
“Poetics”
“The Office BFFs”
“Making Numbers Count”
“The Passion Economy”
“Empire of Pain”
“The Anthropocene Reviewed”
“Liar’s Poker”
“Matrix”
“Coreyography”
18. Write to at least six authors about a book that I especially like.
Letters written to Stephen King and Michael Lewis in April.
Two letters so far.
STORYTELLING/SPEAKING CAREER
19. Complete the recordings for my new business for at least two target consumers.
Recording for the first set of target consumers (corporate folk) is nearly done. I have a few more videos to record a few more to fill in some gaps, but the work is on the precipice of completion.
Once we launch, I will begin recording videos for our next target customer.
Also, my new office and recording studio is nearly complete. The contractor has been working in the basement for two weeks.
20. Engage with LinkedIn at least once per week.
Success! I received more than a dozen direct messages in June and responded to each of them. Many were related to the new book.
21. Produce a total of 6 Speak Up storytelling events.
We produced a virtual show in collaboration with my school on March 19.
We have a live, outdoor show scheduled on July 13 in partnership with the Hill-stead Museum. You should come.
I’ll be producing a show in conjunction with a storytelling weekend workshop at The Mount on July 15-17.
My book launch event – featuring lots of storytelling – will take place on July 30. You should come.
We’ll be producing “Red Talks: Presented by Confessions of a Mensturator” on October 8.
I’ll also be producing a show in conjunction with a storytelling weekend workshop at Copper Beech Institute on October 28-30.
Our annual Voices of Hope show is scheduled for November 6.
We’ll be scheduling additional shows soon. Venues are ready, willing, and anxious for us to return.
22. Pitch myself to at least 3 upcoming TEDx events with the hopes of being accepted by one.
Done!
I pitched to a total of five TEDx conferences back in April.
One has passed on my pitch. Awaiting word from the other four.
I also spoke at TEDxCornell in April. Video will be available this month.
I’ve also helped three clients get accepted to TEDx conference this year.
23. Attend at least 6 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.
DONE! I attended two Moth StorySLAMs in June.
Ten Moth events so far in 2022.
24. Win at least one Moth StorySLAM.
DONE! TWICE!
I won a StorySLAM in New York in February.
I won a StorySLAM in Boston in June.
25. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.
DONE! TWICE!
I won Boston’s Moth GrandSLAM at The Wilbur on April 26.
I won New York City’s Moth GrandSLAM at The Music Hall of Williamsburg on May 16.
It was my eighth and ninth GrandSLAM championships.
26. Produce at least 12 episodes of our podcast Speak Up Storytelling.
Recording was going to commence in February and March. The recording of the audiobook of “Someday Is Today” instead replaced our podcasting time for a while.
Recording was going to commence in April and then in May and then in June, but recording for other things filled that time.
July. We’ll record in July.
27. Convert my YouTube channel into an actual channel.
Progress! My production manager has begun to structure and re-design the channel, and I’ve been accumulating content for release. I’m also been curating the content, removing material that is no longer relevant.
I’ll begin posting new stories in July. When this happens, I’ll consider the job complete.
28. Perform stand-up at least 3 times in 2022.
I have a list of open mics that are currently running in Connecticut. More than enough to resume. I’ll try to find the courage this month.
29. Pitch a story to This American Life.
DONE! I pitched one story to This American Life in April.
30. Pitch myself to Marc Maron’s WTF podcast at least three times.
Two pitches made so far in 2022.
No response.
31. Send a newsletter to readers at least 25 times (every other week).
Two newsletters sent in June. A total of 15 sent so far in 2022. Ahead of schedule.
HOME
32. Clear the basement.
Enormous progress made. My contractor removed many, many things from the basement before launching into his work. The job is nearly complete. Once the work is done, I’ll organize the remaining materials and determine what else needs to be removed.
33. Organize the children’s books.
Books have been removed from the kids’ bedrooms and remain divided into three bins:
- Keep in rotation for kids/students
- Store for future grandchildren (now stored in the basement)
- Give away to those in need
I’ve been slowly emptying the giveaway bin. Progress remains solid.
FAMILY/FRIENDS
34. Text or call brother or sister once per month.
Done.
35. Take at least one photo of my children every day.
Done.
36. Take at least one photo with Elysha and myself each week.
No photos taken of just Elysha and me in 2022
I’m still a giant failure, particularly given that Elysha is so damn pretty.
37. Plan a reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.
A date has been chosen for August. Friends invited. Fingers crossed we gather a bunch of old friends.
38. I will not comment, positively or negatively, about physical appearance of any person save my wife and children, in 2022 in an effort to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall.
Done.
39. Compliment one person every day on a topic unrelated to physical appearance.
This turns out to be easier than I thought, at least as long as I’m teaching. I constantly give my students positive feedback, and I compliment my own children and Elysha quite a bit.
In addition to complimenting my students and family, I also complimented multiple clients, one of Charlie’s friends, lots of friends on the golf course, and many storytellers at Moth events.
40. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2022.
DONE!
One surprise in June:
Her latest Pusheen Club box featuring garden-themed Pusheen.
Surprises in 2022 also include:
- A well timed Starbucks caramel macchiato
- Pusheen Club box, filled with an assortment of movie-themed Pusheen gifts.
- A complete set of Smith College china
- A card on her dashboard following a less than ideal April vacation.
- A surprise visit to her classroom on an especially challenging day to bring her a cupcake.
- A card mailed to her school with thoughts of encouragement and love, written by “The Universe.”
- A planned weekend getaway (later this summer) for her and a friend to Water’s Edge, a resort and spa on the coast of Connecticut.
- Flowers on Mexican Mother’s Day
- Pusheen Club box, featuring garden-themed Pusheen gifts.
That’s nine surprises so far in 2022.
41. Play poker at least six times in 2022.
Two games in total in 2022. Two games scheduled for July.
42. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 30 years.
Two days spent together in June:
A long walk and a wedding.
Two days spent together so far in 2022.
NEW PROJECTS
43. Create an emergency preparedness kit for each car.
Done! Emergency preparedness kits purchased. I’ve also added several necessary items to each.
44. Memorize the lyrics to at least 5 favorite songs.
I’ve officially learned the words to “Fat Bottomed Girls, “Come On Eileen,” and “Mr. Blue Sky.”
I’m not working on “Come a Little Closer” by Jay and the Americans.
45. Learn to play the piano by practicing at least three times a week.
Done.
46. Convert our wedding video to a transferable format.
Another task passed off to my production manager, who has been working on it.
47. Memorize 5 new poems.
I considered memorizing “Casey at the Bat” or “The Charge of the Light Brigade,” and I may still try one or both, but they are long, and I wanted one a little shorter to start, so I’m still working on “I’m Nobody! Who Are You?” by Emily Dickinson.
Honestly, I didn’t work much on this in June.
I also made a list of poems that I’ve committed to memory, to ensure they remain committed to memory through occasional practice.
48. Write to at least 3 colleges about why they should hire me.
No progress.
49. Understand Instagram better.
Progress! My intern and I has a conversation, where she taught me about Instagram Stories and Reels. Huzzah!
I suspect that there is more to know, but who better to teach me than a high school senior?
50. Complete my Eagle Scout project.
I started plotting the completion of this task in February. I’m considering moving the project from Blackstone, MA to something more local, but I’m still working on it.
A recent blog post on this subject garnered me many willing volunteers.
51. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog and social media on the first day of every month.
Done.