At the end of each month, I report on the progress of my New Year’s resolutions (or lack thereof).
Here are the result through the end of August.
PERSONAL FITNESS
1. Don’t die.
Still alive!
The coronavirus is still out there, trying to infect me, but happily, I live in Connecticut, one of the most successful state in the country in terms of flattening the curve with an infection rate of less than 1%.
I continue to wear my mask, social distance, and avoid large, indoor crowds because I believe in science, doctors, and common sense. I’m not a stupid, selfish idiot, and happily, most of the people around me are the same.
I herniated a disc on the golf course in August, and for two days, I felt like I might die, but a combination of steroids, muscle relaxers, Tylenol, physical therapy, and willful disregard for pain had me back on my bike and back on the golf course four days after the injury.
So not dead.
2. Lose 20 pounds.
Still done! I lost one pound in August and 21 pounds overall, though I gained four pounds at one point following my back injury and my inability to exercise before losing it and an additional pound.
3. Eat at least three servings of fruits and/or vegetables per day, six days a week.
Done! I’m eating more fruits and vegetables than ever before.
Pandemic silver lining.
4. Do at least 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and 3 one-minute planks for five days a week.
A back injury has prevented me from doing any push-ups, sit-ups, and planks since August 1o. Those exercises have been replaced by exercises involving elastic straps, rubber balls, and hip thrusts.
Not nearly as manly as my usual routine. I hope to resume with push-ups and planks next week. I may not be doing sit-ups for a while, though my physical therapist has offered me alternatives.
5. Set a new personal best in golf.
Done!
On August 9, I shot a 45 on the back 9 at Rockledge Country Club, producing my best round ever.
Naturally, it was the one time when we failed to snag a scorecard, so this epic achievement is recorded on the inside of a box of golf balls.
A 45 is officially bogie golf: An average of one stroke more than par for every hole, and it includes a bogie on the 14th hole (#5 on the scorecard), which has been my nemesis for years.
I’ve been playing much better over the course of the last two months thanks primarily to my friend, Jeff, who watched me make a dozen small adjustments prior to every single swing all summer before finally saying, “Do me a favor and stop thinking. Just swing away.”
So I did. Muscle memory took over, and suddenly, I could hit the ball again.
I practice and adjust on the range. I just swing away when I’m on the course. As a result, my scores have been lower, and my happiness on the golf course has been much greater.
Credit also to my friend, Scott, who made a tiny but critical adjustment to my putting, which has transformed me from a good putter to an excellent putter almost overnight.
These two friends have made golf a more joyous, more relaxed game for me, and I suspect there’s a powerful metaphor about the dangers of overthinking lurking somewhere in this summer.
The day after shooting this historic score, I returned to the driving range bright and early to continue my practice. On my fifth swing, a gentle wedge, I herniated a disc in my back, sending me to the ground in mind-numbing pain. It took me nearly an hour to get home, and I spent the next two days in agony, worried that I had just ruined the rest of my summer. But two doctors appointments, a slew of steroids, muscle relaxers, and Tylenol, and I was back on my feet, playing gingerly by the weekend.
I started physical therapy the following week with the practice’s golf specialist.
My friends have told me that this experience was very “on brand” for me:
Shoot the round of your life. Destroy your back the next day.
It took me a week, but I’ve since returned to the golf course, where I have shot a 46 (which would’ve been my best round had I not shot a 45), as well as a 48 and a 49. I’ve also shot a 39 and a 40 on a par 31.
All excellent scores for me.
I also shot one under par during a recent round of mini-golf. It doesn’t actually count for much, but I was pleased with myself. Best mini-golf round ever.
WRITING CAREER
6. Complete my seventh novel before the end of 2020.
Work continues.
Work also continues on my first middle grade novel.
7. Write/complete at least five new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist.
No progress.
8. Write a memoir.
Writing continues.
9. Write a new screenplay.
This goal has transitioned into a musical (sort of a screenplay) that I am now writing and will perform with my friend, Kaia, despite the fact that I cannot sing.
We have decided on a topic, theme, and overall plan. Forward momentum. Music is currently being written. I still await the first song. Apparently she has other projects to work on besides this one…
10. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.
DONE!
A total of six submissions in 2020.
None were accepted, but one was later accepted by the Hartford Courant and ran in the Op-Ed section in March.
Another has been accepted by the Hartford Courant and will be running this month, I hope.
11. Submit one or more short stories to at least three publishing outlets.
None submitted in 2020.
12. Select two behaviors that I am opposed to and adopt them for one week, then write about my experiences on the blog.
I’ve identified tow behaviors to try.
First, I’m going to read 50 Shades of Gray. I’ve always assumed that it’s a terrible book, but at a recent party, I listened to friends disparage this book (despite having never read it), which automatically made me want to defend the book based upon its commercial success and their hints of literary elitism.
I also have an oppositional disposition, so I almost instinctually take the opposing viewpoint in many situations. I’m a joy to be around
Second, I will engage in the weirdness of ASMR for a month.
If you have any suggestions, fire away.
13. Increase my newsletter subscriber base to 5,000.
I added 30 subscribers in August for a total of 4,338. This goal is falling out of reach.
If you’d like to sign up for my newsletter, you can do so here.
14. Write at least six letters to my father.
Done! Seven letters written thus far in 2020. I’ve also received several letters from my father, which have been amazing.
15. Write 100 letters in 2020.
Three letters written in August.
A total of 28 written so far in 2020.
16. Convert 365 Days of Elysha into a book.
No progress.
17. Complete and release my limited episode podcast on “Twenty-One Truths About Love.”
The podcast is nearly complete. Episodes with my editor, the cover designer, and more are ready to go. I need to record the first episode with Elysha and finish editing the last one and it will be ready to launch.
The plan is to wait until 2021 to launch the podcast in conjunction with the paperback release of my novel, making the completion of this goal impossible in 2020.
STORYTELLING/SPEAKING CAREER
18. Produce a total of 12 Speak Up storytelling events.
This goal has become much more challenging to accomplish, but progress is being made!
Elysha and I produced another virtual solo show in August, featuring Speak Up regulars and storytelling workshop students from around the country. This brings our our total number of storytelling shows in 2020 to eight:
Two in real life, four virtual solo shows, and two traditional, virtual shows.
We have traditional, virtual Speak Up shows featuring a variety of storytellers scheduled for September, October, and November, plus a Voices of Hope virtual show in September and at least one more solo show. We are also in talks with a venue for a socially distant, outdoor event, which will get us close to the goal.
19. Pitch myself to at least 5 upcoming TEDx events with the hopes of being accepted by one.
DONE!
I pitched myself to five TEDx events in 2020 thus far:
TEDx Salem State University
TEDx Hartford
TEDx UConn
TEDx Wesleyan
TEDx Yale.
TEDx Hartford passed. TEDx Salem State has decided to use faculty speakers only because of the pandemic.
I await word from the others. I suspect that the pandemic has altered schedules significantly.
I have also helped two clients get accepted to speak in TEDx events in 2020 ands 2021.
I was supposed to be speaking at a TEDx event in the Berkshires in April, but that event has been rescheduled for later in the year.
20. Attend at least 15 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.
I attended three virtual Moth StorySLAMs in August (New York, Boston, and Louisville), and my name was drawn from the hat in two.
Ten events so far in 2020. The pandemic has made this a lot harder and a lot less fun than the live shows, but thanks to the virtual world, it may still be possible.
21. Win at least three Moth StorySLAMs.
DONE! I won another virtual Moth StorySLAM in Boston. It was my third win in 2020, my second virtual win, and my 50th Moth StorySLAM victory in all.
22. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.
I completed in a Moth GrandSLAM in Boston in February and finished in second place.
I have several victories – both virtual and in real life – in the bank, but I’m not sure when The Moth will be producing GrandSLAMs in 2020.
23. Produce at least 40 episodes of our podcast Speak Up Storytelling.
Elysha and I produced four more episodes in August.
A total of 25 new episodes in 2020. We’ll need to increase the pace to hit the yearly goal.
24. Begin providing transcriptions of each episode of the Speak Up Storytelling podcast.
I’ve investigated several transcribing services, and frankly, this is far more costly than I had originally envisioned. Since no one has ever requested a transcription, this may be a service that we pass on. But I’m still on the hunt for a less costly solution.
25. Explore the monetization of the Speak Up Storytelling podcast.
DONE!
Our Patreon page is up and running, and so far 28 people have been kind enough to commit to a monthly contribution. In exchange for their commitment, they are receiving bonus content on the Patreon page, including interviews with storytellers, instruction material, behind-the-scenes ph0tos, and more.
If you’d like to become a patron and support the work we do at Speak Up, click here.
26. Perform stand up at least six times in 2020.
No performances in August and no performances in 2020.
Given the nature of the world, this goal is going to be much harder now, though I may start to look for online open mics. Or maybe doing my own virtual comedy performance?
That sounds terrifying, which is why it’s also appealing.
27. Pitch at least three stories to This American Life.
No stories pitched in August. No stories pitched in 2020.
28. Pitch myself to Marc Maron’s WTF podcast at least three times.
No pitches sent in August. Two pitches sent so far in 2020.
29. Produce at least one new video for my YouTube channel each month.
I posted one new instructional video in August.
Fourteen new videos in total in 2020.
Subscribe to my YouTube channel here.
30. Find a means of producing my storytelling instruction for an online platform.
DONE! I taught multiple an online storytelling workshop since the pandemic struck, starting in April with about 70 people from 17 different states and 8 different countries in partnership with MOPCO Improv theater.
I’m also currently teaching six-week online storytelling workshops to small groups of storytellers, in addition to workshops for a variety of other storytelling organizations, corporations, nonprofits, and more.
LOTS of online instruction happening now. Another pandemic silver lining.
Ultimately I want to develop asynchronous offerings using recorded instruction, but this has been an excellent start.
HOME
31. Print, hang, and/or display at least 25 prints, photos, or portraits in our home.
Art has arrived. The devices needed for hanging the art have arrived.
Frankly, this is Elysha’s job now, but I’m confident that it will be done soon and well.
32. Replace the 12 ancient, energy-inefficient windows in our home with new windows that will keep the cold out and actually open in the warmer months.
DONE! 14 windows replaced!
33. Clear the basement.
I’ve been taking advantage of my town’s free bulk pickup each week. Progress is slow but steady.
Incrementalism, people. Some jobs are best done through consistency and vigilance.
34. Refinish the hardwood floors.
This might be a problem. Hardwood floors require at least a few days to be completed, and we have cats. The cats will absolutely not stay with anyone else while the floors are being done, so what the hell are we going to do?
Also, the coronavirus might make this impossible in 2020.
35. Purchase a new television.
Done! It’s large and beautiful and professionally mounted to the wall.
THANK GOODNESS we did this early in the year. Our new couch, chair, television, and streaming services have been invaluable during this period of social distancing.
FAMILY/FRIENDS
36. Take at least one photo of my children every day.
I missed zero days in August. I’ve missed 12 days in 2020. Social distancing makes this job much easier.
37. Take at least one photo with Elysha and myself each week.
I missed two of the four weeks in August. I need to find a way to do better, because I want more photos of Elysha and myself.
38. Cook at least 12 good meals (averaging one per month) in 2020.
DONE! I stopped counting at 25 meals. I’m well over 50 at this point. Last night I grilled sword fish!
This pandemic has done wonders for cooking skills.
39. Ride my bike with my kids at least 25 times in 2020.
DONE!
I stopped counting at 30.
Charlie also has a new bike. I drove the car over his old one.
40. Plan a reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.
No progress. This is probably impossible in 2020. Though a virtual reunion might be possible and also awkward and awful.
41. I will not comment, positively or negatively, about physical appearance of any person save my wife and children, in 2020 in an effort to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall.
Still done. Life is good when you don’t feel the urge to criticize someone about their physical appearance, both outwardly or in your mind.
42. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2020.
DONE!
Adding to the list:
- I printed two dozen photos from our summertime fun and replaced the photos on the refrigerator and white board in the kitchen with these photos, surprising Elysha and the kids when they came downstairs for breakfast.
- I also gave Elysha a copy of Watchmen and it’s compendium volume after her love for the show turned to obsession.
- This morning, Elysha will receive flowers at work.
Surprises thus far:
- Summertime photo display
- Watchmen graphic novel and compendium
- Ukulele sheet music for Francis England songs
- Bullet journal stickers
- A pin from the Smith College Botanical Garden
- An adjustable standing/lap desk in April.
- Tickets to a now-postponed Mike Birbiglia’s appearance in New Haven in May
- A bouquet of flowers sent to her workplace on her birthday in January and September.
Nine surprises so far in 2020.
43. Play poker at least six times in 2020.
DONE!
My friends and I used a combination of a poker app, Zoom, Venmo, and Spotify to spend an evening playing poker one time in August.
Eight games played so far in 2020.
I’ll certainly be playing more.
44. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 30 years.
DONE!
Due to my back injury, Bengi and I were unable to walk in August, but I spent an hour on the phone with him twice last month. I’m counting it as time spent together. They were glorious hours of stories, hilarity, and camaraderie.
Four long walks and two long phone calls in all in 2020.
NEW PROJECTS
45. Understand Instagram better.
No progress, but this can’t be that hard. Right? It’s just a matter of either reading and/or speaking to someone who understands it better than me.
Or maybe even Youtube…
46. Listen to new music via the Billboard Hot 100 Spotify playlist at least four times per month.
Done! I’ve been listening to this playlist while riding my bike. I like some of the songs, but boy do I miss bands with guitars and basses and drums.
47. Host a fundraiser for RIP Medical Debt, which would allow us to relieve the medical debt of struggling Americans for pennies on the dollar.
No progress. Though I still find this issue incredibly important, it’s hard to ask people to donate to a cause like this when there are so many needs in this work right now and so many Americans without jobs. As a result, I’ve been hesitant to start this project.
Perhaps the second half of 2020 will look better, but given what I’ve seen thus far, that is unlikely.
48. Complete my Eagle Scout project.
No progress. Though I would love to complete this goal, it will require me to travel to Massachusetts and do work that probably doesn’t make a lot of sense in the midst of a pandemic, so chances of completing this goal are looking slim.
49. Scan and send photos of Laura to her daughters.
No progress, but this is a goal that can be completed in a day with some concerted effort.
50. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog and social media on the first day of every month.
Done!
