Back in 1988, I was in the midst of completing my service project — the final step in becoming an Eagle Scout – when I went through a windshield during a head-on collision.
I was hospitalized for a week — including two surgeries on my legs — and spent the next three months recovering from serious head, leg, and chest injuries. During that time, I turned 18 — the deadline for earning the rank of Eagle Scout.
I had aged out of the possibility of making my childhood dream come true during my recovery.
I was aware of this, of course, so I asked my parents to apply for a waiver, an exemption, or an extension that would allow me to recover and then complete my project.
They told me my request was denied.
For almost 25 years, I was angry with the Boy Scouts of America for denying me the opportunity to achieve my childhood dream. I still loved the organization that, in many ways, helped me become the man I am today and never waivered in my support for their good work. For a time, I served as an assistant Scoutmaster for a local Boy Scout troop, and today, Clara and Charlie are members of Scouting, but I could never understand why they would deny me the opportunity to earn the rank I had dreamed about for so long.
It really was my dream, too. Throughout my time in Scouting, I earned every merit badge I could find — well over the required number to earn the rank of Eagle. I quickly ascended the troop’s leadership ladder, moving from patrol leader to assistant senior patrol leader to senior patrol leader by the age of 14 — the highest level of leadership a boy could attain in a Scout troop. I could tie all the knots, swim all the strokes, pitch all the tents, and perform all the life-saving skills that my first aid merit badge demanded. I hiked for miles, built shelters using only twine and the natural elements, and spent hundreds of nights sleeping outdoors.
Scouting was my passion.
Then a car accident derailed me from attaining my final goal.
For 25 years, I was angry about their decision, and then one day, just a couple of years ago, it hit me:
My parents never requested that waiver or extension.
Why would parents who had never spoken the word “college” to me, never attended a track meet to see me pole vault, never watched me compete in a marching band competition, and nearly missed my high school graduation make the effort required to ask the Boy Scouts of America for an extension.
Two years after this realization, while visiting my former Scoutmaster at a reunion, I asked him about it. He said he had no recollection of the request.
“That was a long time ago, so it’s possible, but I don’t remember one.”
Failing to earn the rank of Eagle Scout is one of the greatest disappointments of my life. I know it sounds silly, but when you dream of something for so long and work so hard to attain a goal, failing to make that dream a reality is devastating.
Though it’s impossible to turn back the clock, and even though I suspect I will always feel disappointed for failing to achieve this goal, I decided to complete the service project I began as a boy to at least bring me some closure and perhaps help me feel a little better about my boyhood failure.
At last, I’m ready to go.
My original service project was beautifying a local cemetery where I had taught my friends—including my former Scoutmaster’s son—to drive.
It’s the cemetery where my mother is buried today.
Rather than returning to my hometown, I have moved the project to my current hometown—Newington, CT—to a cemetery where Charlie and I have wandered many times, examining headstones, exploring history, and planting flags on Memorial Day.
On October 12, from 11:00 AM to 2:00 PM, I’ll complete my Eagle Scout service project by removing the lichen and debris from headstones in Center Cemetery in Newington, CT. The cemetery is located on the corner of Main Street and Cedar Street, directly behind the Congregational Church.
After meeting with the people in charge, they thought that this act of service—maintaining and cleaning the headstones of the deceased—would be especially appreciated.
It’s also something they don’t do as a part of cemetery maintenance, so the work is also needed.
If you’d like to join me in this small act of service — for 15 minutes or three hours — I invite you to join me on October 12 in the cemetery to clean a headstone, clear debris, or simply say hello.
My family will be helping, of course, and I will have all the supplies needed to complete the job, as well as refreshments for anyone volunteering.
I’m excited about this project. I’m thrilled to be finishing something I began 36 years ago. I hope that its completion brings peace to the part of me that remains disappointed in myself and the circumstances that prevented me from making this dream come true many years ago.
