I mentioned an unfortunate encounter in a restroom last week, and I was asked to elaborate. Here is the elaboration:
Years ago, I was returning a book to the library. The librarian informed me that late fees were due on the item, so I removed my wallet and offered up my money with a smile.
“Best two dollars I’ve ever spent,” I said. I was serious. The fine had allowed me to keep the book long enough to finish reading it, and the money was going to a great cause.
Win-win, I thought.
The librarian disagreed. She was annoyed with my flippant attitude about my overdue fine, explaining to me that fines are designed to encourage patrons to return books on time.
“Someone else might’ve been waiting for this book,” she said.
I explained to her that when you create a system wherein a patron can spend a small amount of money for the convenience of keeping the book, some people are going to take advantage of your offering.
She explained that it wasn’t an offering. It was an overdue fine, charged to patrons who failed to return books on time.
I explained that she could call it whatever she wanted, but I preferred to think of it as a convenience cost.
This eventually devolved into me telling the librarian that she didn’t even own the books. As a resident of the town, I actually had greater claim on the book than she did, since I lived and paid taxes in the town and she did not.
The discussion became heated on both sides. Not the typical hushed tones of a library setting.
My anger was not surprising. I hate when librarians try to make me feel badly about returning books late. While I adore librarians and call several of them my friends, the occasional holier-than-thou attitude that I have received upon returning something late has always irked me. If you design a system that allows me to pay money for returning an item late absent any other repercussions, don’t be surprised, disappointed, or annoyed when I return items late.
When I received my library card, I agreed to the paying overdue fines. I didn’t agree to the finger wagging, passive-aggressive sighs of disgust or the ineffectual attempts to shame me for valuing time over money.
In the librarian’s defense, I may have been a little aggressive with my tone. This issue had annoyed me enough over the years that it’s possible I saw this as an opportunity to finally take a stand.
The discussion became so heated that after paying my fine, I turned and stormed out of the library. But as I reached the outer hallway, I turned again and charged into the adjacent restroom, still heated about the exchange but also needing to pee, only to find myself standing over a half-naked woman sitting on the toilet.
In my defense, it was a small, single occupancy restroom. I took about four steps before I was looming over her, but admittedly, those four steps happened before I even noticed that she was there.
Apparently the woman had also been wearing some kind of jumper that had required her to be more naked than I have ever been in a public restroom.
It was an uncomfortable moment for both of us, but perhaps slightly more uncomfortable for her. Perhaps even a little frightening.
And yes, part of the blame falls on the more than half-naked woman for failing to lock the door to the single occupancy restroom, but had I not been so angry, I may have offered a courtesy knock before entering. At the very least, I wouldn’t have made it all the way across the restroom before noticing her presence.
I apologized as I turned and exited the restroom. Then I fled the building.
No need to subject the poor woman to my presence one more time.
I felt awful for plowing into the restroom like that, and I certainly accept some of the blame for my action. But I also placed some blame on that librarian, who had so enraged me by casting aspersions on my more-than-reasonable behavior.
She may not have been standing in that restroom with me, but her aura was still with me.
Happily, the system of charging fines for overdue items has been eliminated by many libraries in recent years, thereby eliminating the need and opportunity for librarians to scold me for returning items late.
Little did they know that this change in policy may also be protecting half-naked women in restrooms from unexpected intruders.
But I was also more than happy to pay the overdue fines when I returned a book late, and I still am. I really do see overdue fines as a means of compensating the library system for a convenience that they provide.
Keep a book an extra week or two. Add a few dollars to the library’s coffers.
Instead of eliminating the fines, perhaps libraries could have simply removed the smarmy response that I have very occasionally received from less-than-pleased librarians who find my willingness to exchange money for time abhorrent.
They should read my upcoming book, “Someday Is Today,” which hits bookstore shelves on June 7. It’s all about valuing time over money.
With luck, it might even find its way onto the shelf of your local library. If so, return it a few days late for me.
Think of it as an act of solidarity.
