Kidnapped?

Clara is telling my nephew about some of the more unusual moments of my life:

“He’s been hit by a car. Twice! He went through a windshield! And died! Twice! He was homeless! And in jail!”

Hitting just a few of the many highlights…

My nephew, looking a little shocked, asks, “Have you ever been kidnapped?”

I pause. Consider the question for a moment. Then I answer:

“A little.”

I had to track down a few details of the story from my sister, but it essentially goes like this:

Maria, a substitute babysitter, is taking care of my brother, Jeremy, my sister, Kelli, and me on a summer day because our regular babysitter, Lisa, is unavailable to work. She has a date with her boyfriend.

I’m about eight or nine years old, meaning my brother, Jeremy, and my sister, Kelli, are one and two years younger than me, respectively. I’m already babysitting my brother and sister when my parents go out at night, but apparently, the long, summer days are too much for me, so my mother hires teenage girls to care for us.

Today, it’s Maria, a friend of Lisa who has filled in for her before.

But Maria is also secretly fooling around with Lisa’s boyfriend, and apparently, it’s been going on for some time.

Despite his infidelity, I like Lisa’s boyfriend a lot because he takes me for rides on his motorcycle. No helmet, of course, and without the knowledge of my parents.

It’s the late ’70s. The world is insane. Safety is not a concern for anyone.

On this particular day, Lisa somehow discovers her boyfriend’s infidelity – probably while on their date – and comes to our house to beat Maria up.

Maria discovers that Lisa is coming to the house, so she shoves us into the closet in our parents’ bedroom, where we all hide, hoping Lisa will think we went for a walk or to my grandparents’ house up the hill. When Lisa finally leaves, Maria throws us into her car and drives us to a partially built home at a construction site on Elm Street, where we hide for the day.

It’s raining, and the house has no roof, so we get very wet.

Maria tells no one about our whereabouts. She brings us home just before my mother arrives home and doesn’t say a word about our adventure.

My mother finds out only because Kelli tells on Maria. She’s always hated Maria.

Kidnapping? Probably not, but close. Maria removed us from our home without informing my parents and lept us for the day, despite our protestations and pleading to go home.

But probably not kidnapping.

Child endangerment? Some violation of custodial duty? Maybe.

As my sister said, “She could’ve been arrested for taking us had it happened today.”

Even if it wasn’t quite kidnapping, my nephew was impressed.